


The Domino Effect

by uswntstories



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-06-01 05:06:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6501871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uswntstories/pseuds/uswntstories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long resting break coming back from a strong finish in Rio, Ashlyn decides she is ready to propose. But after the date she had planned takes a turn for the worst, this is just one domino in a long string of events that turn their world upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfic story. I will be doing other Krashlyn and O'Solo stories as well. I would love it if you guys left kudos and comments. I plan on updating every few days, but don't have a set schedule or anything. Hope you enjoy!

"Ali! Let's go!" Ashlyn yells through the house, just loud enough for Ali to hear through the music she has playing in her bathroom.

"I'll be down in 5." Ali replies back.

Ashlyn grumbles in her seat on the couch knowing it will be more like 15 at least.

They had just gotten back from Rio a few weeks ago and had been so tired. Both of them just wanted to lay low for a few weeks. This meant they hadn't gone on a date together for more than two months. Because of this, Ashlyn had a nice night planned out for the both of them, with an extra special surprise waiting for Ali at the end.

They were going to start off with dinner at Ali's favorite restaurant in Orlando. Then, they were off the to a carnival near the beach and would end up sitting at the beach together where Ashlyn would propose. Something she had been waiting to do for a long time, but figured it was too hectic to do before the Olympics.

After a long while of thinking about the night she had planned for them, Ali walked down the steps to where Ashlyn had been sitting for the last 20 minutes.

"Took you long enough!" Ashlyn said jokingly.

"Hey, this doesn't happen in an instant." Ali said.

"Oh, I'm just kidding." Ashlyn said. "This always happens, but this time I planned for it."

"Oh come on, I'm not that bad." Ali said laughing.

"That's what you think." Ashlyn said smiling. "Besides, I can't ignore my beautiful Alex."

Ashlyn leaned in and kissed her. Just a quick peck on the lips.

"Now let's go. I think you're going to be happy with what I have planned for the night."

As they drove through Orlando, Ashlyn couldn't help but gaze at Ali staring out the window. This was who she wanted to live with forever. She couldn't imagine her life without Ali. That was just one of many reasons she was going to propose.

"No, Ashlyn. You shouldn't have." Ali said with a big smile forming on her face.

They had pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and Ashlyn couldn't help but smile.

"This place is so expensive. Really. We should go somewhere else."

"Ali, no. This is where I chose. We already have our reservations. There is already a table waiting for us inside."

"Fine. But I'm serious. We don't need to be eating here."

They walked into the restaurant, hand in hand, and we seated at their table.

Once the waiter walked up to their table, Ashlyn was set. She wasn't going to let what Ali thought of her choice influence their night.

"We'll have the house cabernet."

Ashlyn could see the glare coming from Ali.

The waiter walked away and Ali was quickly on top of Ashlyn.

"Ashlyn! That wine is almost $200! We do not need wine that expensive."

"Ali. I promise you. I've got this. You have nothing to worry about for the night."

The glares from Ali continued as Ashlyn ordered some of the more expensive dishes for the two of them. Ashlyn knew it was all worth it because she wanted to make this night special and a day that the both of them remembered.

///

"Ashlyn, this place is awesome." Ali said quietly as they walked through the carnival.

"I knew you would love it." Ashlyn said with a peck on the lips.

///

As they rode on the ferris wheel, both of them looked out onto the ocean, the sun falling.

"This is why I love it here." Ashlyn said, somewhat to herself.

"I wish I could come and live down here with you. I think I could watch this sunset for the rest of my life." Ali said laughing.

"Maybe next year, I think I could talk to Tony and work out a trade or something. I want you down here with me too."

"I love being with the Spirit, but I love you more." Ali said with a grin.

"We'll see." Ashlyn replied with a sneaky grin.

Ali's head was laying on Ashlyn's shoulder and Ashlyn could sense that Ali was growing tired, but Ashlyn still had one more step in her plan for the night.

"Hey Alex, why don't we go down to the beach."

"That sounds nice." Ali said.

The two of them went down to the beach together and started walking along the shore.

"This night has been so nice. Thank you so much Ashlyn."

"Nothing else for my amazing Alex."

"I still wish I didn't have to leave you."

"I know. Me too. But let's not think about that now. Let's just have a nice time while we can be together."

Their conversation went silent after a while, but they continued to walk along the ocean. They were both growing tired, so Ashlyn knew she was going to have to pop the question soon. Just as she was about to turn to Ali and take a knee, she felt Ali's hand tense.

"Are you okay?" Ashlyn questioned quickly.

"Yeah, just getting kind of cold." She lied.

Ali hadn't been feeling all that great since they had left the restaurant. She had a headache and was kind of nauseous. She just had another wave of nausea, but she was trying to hide it from Ashlyn so as not to ruin their night.

"Here, take my jacket." Ashlyn said as she placed the jacket over Ali's shoulders.

"Thanks Ash." Ali said as she leaned in closer.

Once again, Ashlyn was about to turn to Ali and get down on her knee, but as she did this, Ali's grip loosened in her hand and Ali fell to the sand. Ashlyn rushed down to the ground and realized that Ali had just fainted. She tried to shake her awake a few times, but as the time passed Ashlyn grew more desperate as Ali was not waking up. Ashlyn quickly pulled out her phone and dialed 911. Still, Ali was laying the sand, unconscious. Ashlyn plead with Ali to wake up, and the tears started falling. A million ideas starting flowing through her head as to what was wrong, and none of them were good.

"Alex, please, wake up. I need you. I need you to be okay."

Ashlyn could hear the sirens getting closer, and the tears kept falling. The longer Ali stayed unconscious, the more Ashlyn became nervous. She looked down at Ali's beautiful face and all she could think was what if that hit she took in Rio is only now affecting her. What if she doesn't wake up. What if, what if, what if.

As soon as the ambulance arrived, the sounds around Ashlyn became a blur. The paramedics were asking her question about what happened and Ashlyn tried to answer as best as she could, but in truth, she had no idea what was happening.

The paramedics lifted Ali onto a stretcher and started wheeling her to the ambulance. Ashlyn still stood by her side, holding her hand. Just as they reached the ambulance, Ashlyn felt Ali grip her and saw her eyes flutter open a little. The tears of at least some relief started flowing from Ashlyn's eyes. She leaned down onto Ali thanking God that Ali was awake. But around them, the paramedics were talking gibberish and moving quickly. Ali had an oxygen mask over her face and they were already starting an IV in her arm. They tried to push Ashlyn out of the way, but she wasn't budging. The ride to the hospital seemed to last hours.

///

There wasn't a whole ton that they could do now that they were at the hospital. They were just trying to figure out what had happened. Ali was awake, but really groggy and didn't seem completely aware of what was happening around her. Ashlyn was still right by her side, holding her hand. She could see a few doctors talking quietly outside of the room and she desperately wished she could hear what they were saying.

A few minutes later a doctor walked in and started to ask Ashlyn some questions.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Fletcher. I'm going to be working with you until we figure out what's going on. So Ms. Harris, could you tell me what happened?"

Now that Ashlyn had calmed down a little, it was a little easier for her to comprehend and express what had just happened before her eyes.

"Um, we were just, uh, walking along the beach together when Ali fainted or something." Ashlyn said shakily. "I tried to shake her awake, but she wasn't waking up, so I called 911. She, uh, woke up, at least a little, right as we were getting into the ambulance."

"Okay, so nothing unusual before she fainted?"

"I, I don't think so. She was tired and she seemed a little tense, but she said it was because she was cold."

"We're going to have to run a few tests to see what's going on if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, of course. I just want her to be okay."

"We will do our best to make sure that she is okay." Dr. Fletcher said smiling. "I want to take some blood and get a CT and a few other tests done. Generally, patients would be a little more alert after fainting, but not worry. We will fix whatever is going on."

Once Dr. Fletcher left the room, Ashlyn leaned forward, and the tears started to stream down her face once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may or may not want to kill me once this chapter is over. :)

“I’m going to need to take Ali for her tests.” Dr. Fletcher tells Ashlyn.

Ashlyn tenses at the words not wanting to leave Ali’s side.

“Okay, um, how long do you think it will take?”

“Most likely a little over an hour, depending on what we find.”

Listening to the words ‘depending on what we find’ makes Ashlyn feel another wave of tears come on, but this time she is able to hold them in.

“Why don’t you run home and clean up or grab yourself some food while you wait.” Dr. Fletcher says encouragingly.

“I think I’m good right where I am. I want to be here when she gets back.”

As soon as she says this, Ali starts to be pulled out of the room by Dr. Fletcher and a few nurses.

“Wait.” Ashlyn says quickly. “Can I talk to her for a few minutes before you take her?”

“Sure, take however long you need.”

The nurses and Dr. Fletcher file just outside of the room patiently waiting. Ashlyn leans in and whispers to Ali, grasping her hand tightly.

“Alex, you need to stay with me. You have to be okay. I love you.”

With those last three words, Ali’s grip tightens and her eyes flutter open once again. She attempts to push herself up, but Ashlyn stops her.

“I, I love you too, Ash. Wh… what happened?”

Ashlyn can tell how fatigued and groggy Ali is and stops her from trying to move or talk anymore. The few words that she has said already are enough for Ashlyn. A single tear falls down the side of her face.

“You, uh, you fainted, and you were, um, unconscious for a while. We’re in the hospital right now. The doctors aren’t sure what’s going on yet, but they are going to take you for a few tests. I promise I will be here when you get back. I love you.”

With that, Ashlyn lets the doctors take Ali. Ashlyn watches them take Ali as far as she can see. As soon as Ali is out of her sight, Ashlyn walks over to the chair in the corner of the room and puts her face in her hands.

Ashlyn had never been much of a believer in faith, but in this moment that was all she could depend on to make sure that Ali would be okay.

“Please, God, just make sure that Ali will be okay. Whether something small or big, just help her, help us get through this. I need her to be okay.”

Ashlyn lifted her head from her hands, and prepared herself to call Kyle. That was a conversation she was not looking forward to having.

As she went to pull her phone her of her pocket, she felt the ring. At the touch of it, she took a sharp breath, attempting to hold in the stream of tears trying to force their way out. Ashlyn’s thoughts turned a whole new direction, completely away from her talking to Kyle. Instead all Ashlyn could think was how could a such a great night turn so horrible within a matter of seconds. They were walking down the beach peacefully, hand in hand, and suddenly there were sirens filling the night and Ali was laying on the sand and not waking up. None of it made any sense.

Ashlyn forced those thoughts away and attempted to compose herself for what was next. If there was any hint of sadness of fear in her voice, Kyle would end up as much of a mess as Ashlyn was.

Ashlyn brought out her phone and pulled up Kyle’s number, but she couldn’t bring herself to press the call button. The phone in front of her seemed like it was taunting her. She knew the moment that she heard Kyle’s voice on the phone, it would force her to bring herself into reality. She still couldn’t fathom what was happening.

She pulled the phone up to her ear as soon as she pressed the call button, but almost hung up once she heard the ringing. Kyle was someone who was so important to Ali, and for him to have to hear about anything being wrong with is tough enough, but hearing it over the phone is even harder.

“Hey Ash.” Kyle said happily.

“Uh, hey Kyle.”

Ashlyn knew she had already failed at keeping the fear out of her voice once she had said the first word.

“Ashlyn, is everything okay?”

Shit, Ashlyn told herself. She was not ready to express what happened to anyone, especially not Kyle of all people.

“I’m, um, at the hospital. Ali, she… she fainted and the doctors don’t know what’s wrong yet.”

“What? Is she okay?”

“Yes, she’s okay for now. She didn’t wake up for a while and she is still really fatigued so the doctors are getting a few tests done.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Stay strong Ash. Ali is going to be okay.”

Kyle hung up immediately and was on his way. Ashlyn felt as though a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. She was so glad that she was going to have someone there to support her.

Generally, people think of Ashlyn as the strong one of their relationship, but in this moment Ashlyn had never felt weaker. She had broken down too many times to count in the time since Ali fainted and she didn’t know how long she was going to be able to hold herself together before she broke down again.

///

Ashlyn heard a slight knock on the door and looked up to see Kyle standing in the doorway.

“Oh, Kyle. Thank god you’re here.”

She stood up and rushed towards him. They hugged tightly.

“Okay. Start from the beginning.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath preparing herself to tell Kyle what happened once again.

“We were walking down the beach together when Ali suddenly fainted. I tried to wake her up, but after she didn’t wake up right away I called 911. She woke up a little when we were getting into the ambulance, but she was really groggy. She was out again by the time we got to the hospital. The doctors said it was unusual for someone to be unconscious for that long so they were a little nervous. They wanted to do a few tests to see what was going on, which is where she is now. Right when they were pulling her out of the room, she woke up again, but she was again really groggy and fatigued.”

Ashlyn looked up at Kyle for a response, but he was silent. He was just taking in all of what happened. After a minute or so of silence between the two of them, Kyle took a deep breath.

“Wow. At least she is awake. I guess. This is all somewhat of Deja vu for me. My brain keeps going back to when she broke her leg in college and the blood clots. I don’t really know what to think right now. I wasn’t good at this then and I’m not good at this now.”

Both of them were sitting in silence, waiting for Ali to pull through the door of the room. The more minutes that went by, the more nervous Ashlyn and Kyle became.

“Have you, uh, told your parents yet?” Ashlyn asked Kyle.

“No, I don’t want to worry them yet. But thank you for calling me.”

“Yeah, no problem. I needed someone to be with me for this anyway.”

Kyle leaned over and pulled Ashlyn in close to him. Her head was laying on his shoulder and the tears started to fall.

“Kyle, what time is it?”

“12:45, why?”

At the sound of that, Ashlyn shot up.

“Wait what? The doctors sent her for the test at 11:15. They said it would take around an hour. She should be back by now.”

“I’m sure everything is fine. They’re probably just doing a few more test.”

Ashlyn could sense the shakiness in Kyle’s voice. The words ‘depending on what we find’ started to float through her head once more. Maybe they found something bad, so they are taking longer. That was the only explanation that Ashlyn could think of and she knew there was something really wrong.

Only a minute later though, Ali was brought through the door of the room. She was asleep peacefully on the bed. Ashlyn stood up right away and went to Ali’s side. Kyle was on the other side just as fast. Ashlyn leaned down and kissed Ali on the forehead, while Kyle was caressing her hair. Dr. Fletcher walked in behind Ali and Ashlyn was alert and paying attention to every single word that he was about to say.

“We took some blood and everything was normal with that, we checked her heart and that was fine, but the CT or her head that we took was not.”

Dr. Fletcher switched on the light and put up a picture from the CT. It looked to be a bunch or gray stuff at first, but there was a white circle right in the middle of the circle, or brain. Ashlyn took a sharp intake and she could hear Kyle do the same. She tightened her grip on Ali’s hand preparing herself for what Dr. Fletcher was about to tell them.

“You might want to wake Ali up for this. She is probably going to want to know also.”

After he said that, both Kyle and Ashlyn lightly shook Ali awake. She opened her eyes slowly, but smiled as soon as she saw Ashlyn and Kyle looking down at her.

“You kept your promise.” Ali said with a smile.

Ashlyn couldn’t help but laugh at the brunette’s comment. “Of course I did. I always do.”

“Hey, I’m here too.” Kyle said smiling.

“I can see that.”

Both of them laughed. Ashlyn felt a flood of relief come over her knowing that Ali was able to communicate and was more awake. She definitely hadn’t lost her personality. Whatever was going on in her brain wasn’t affecting that thankfully.

Dr. Fletcher coughed, trying to get our attention back.

“Glad to see you awake again Ali.”

“He’s going to tell us what’s happened with you.” Ashlyn told Ali quietly.

“So as you can see, there is a tumor in Ali’s brain.”

The whole demeanor in the room tensed. The word tumor was almost always not good.

“We don’t know all that much about the tumor at this moment. We want to do a MRI with contrast to get a few more pictures of the tumor. We will have to look at the scans a little more closely. After that we will be able to figure out the best treatment for you. I will set up the MRI for tomorrow morning, to give you three a little time to rest and think things over.”

Dr. Fletcher left the room, and all three of us were silent. None of us really knew what to think. We didn’t know what this meant for our future or really anything. You could practically hear everyone thinking. The first noise to fill the room was sniffling. Ashlyn turned to find Ali crying. Ashlyn leaned down to her and wiped her tears away. Ali scooted over in bed to let Ashlyn snuggle up next to her. The defender put her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder and started whispering something that neither Kyle nor Ashlyn could understand.

“What are you saying Alex?” Ashlyn said quietly.

Ali turned over onto her back, her face wet with tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Ashlyn’s heart sunk at those words. She couldn’t bear to hear that Ali thought all of this was her fault.

“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I, I have been having headaches since we got back from Rio, but I, um, I didn’t really think anything of it. And tonight, I had a headache the, um, the whole night and I was pretty nauseous too. I’m sorry because I didn’t say anything.”

“Alex, you have no need to be sorry. We’ve all been under a lot of stress. There were a million things that those headaches and nausea could have been coming from.”

“But if I had said something earlier, maybe it wouldn’t have progressed as far. I don’t know.”

A fresh set of tears were falling down Ali’s face. Ashlyn and Kyle could feel them coming on too. Kyle turned to Ali, attempting to be the strong one.

“Alex, you can’t think like that. It’s only been a few weeks and those few weeks wouldn’t have made much of a difference. You didn’t ask for this to happen to you, but now that it has, we are just going to work with what we have. This is going to be hard for all of us, but you are a fighter. We will get through this.”

The feeling in the room shifted a little. Kyle’s little speech had changed Ali’s view at least a little and everyone could tell that Ali wasn’t blaming herself as much anymore.

“It’s been a long night. Why don’t we get some sleep and we can talk more about this in the morning. We can call your parents and anyone else you want here with you too.”

Ali’s eyes widened at the thought of having to tell her parents and their teammates. Her parents had already dealt with so much between Kyle’s sobriety and mental health and Ali’s physical health from injuries and such. She wasn’t looking forward to that conversation and by the look of it neither was Kyle. Telling their teammates would be especially hard because they were their best friends and they had been with them through thick and thin for so many years.

///

The lights were out in the room and you could hear quiet beeps from the monitors that Ali was on as well as faint noises of running feet outside of the room. Ashlyn and Ali were snuggled together in the bed and Kyle was sleeping in a separate room, giving the two of them a little space.

“Good night Alex. I love you.” Ashlyn said kissing Ali on the forehead.

“Good night Ash. I love you too.” Ali responded in a quiet whisper, just barely audible.

Within minutes, both of them were sleeping comfortably together.


	3. Chapter 3

Ashlyn woke up before Ali did the next morning, but she still didn’t want to leave her side. She awkwardly tried to shift her body so as not to wake the sleeping brunette. It was only 7 o’clock, but Ashlyn knew that she wasn’t going to be able to get anymore sleep. She grabbed her phone from the side table and pulled up Kyle’s number.

‘Hey, I’m awake if you want to go grab some coffee and talk a little. I kind of need it right now.’

‘Of course. I’ll be at the room in a minute.’

Ashlyn could feel that the presence of all the monitors in the room and just the smell of the hospital was starting to mess with her head and she needed a break. She really didn’t want to leave Ali, but she wanted to be able to care for her too. That meant she was going to need a break. She was so thankful for Kyle being there. He was good at listening when I really needed it.

Ashlyn heard a small knock on the door and carefully wiggled out of the bed. She slipped her shoes on and quietly opened the door just enough so that she could slide out of the room.

Immediately Kyle wrapped her in a hug knowing that the whole journey that was to come was going to be overwhelming and Ashlyn needed as much support as she could get.

“What do you need me to do for you? I’ve got you covered.”

“First I need some coffee. I have a feeling it is going to be a long day and I only got like 5 hours of sleep.”

“Okay, to coffee we go.”

///

Kyle’s somewhat happy spirit was helping Ashlyn wake up a little. She was still in shock from all the information she had taken in during the last 12 hours that she just needed to talk.

Kyle and Ashlyn walked into a small coffee shop a block away from the hospital and just the smell of the coffee had already helped Ashlyn a ton. The smell of the hospital was everywhere and this helped to get it out of the blonde’s head.

After they had gotten their coffee, they sat down at a table along the side of the restaurant.

“Spill it. Just tell me everything that’s bugging you and get it out, because I can tell that there is a lot of thinking going on in that head of yours.” Kyle said, being very straightforward.

“Well okay then. I don’t even know where to start.”

“Well you’ve got to start somewhere so say the first thing that comes to mind.”

“Okay um, I guess I’m just overwhelmed at how quickly this has come on. One moment we were walking down the beach together and the next we are in a hospital being told that Ali has a brain tumor. I can’t even express how much this scares me, let alone how scared I’m sure Ali is. I mean she’s the one who is going to have to endure whatever treatment options they give us.”

“Keep it coming.”

“I want to be so strong for her, but I just don’t know what to do. I’ve never been on the other side of this. I’ve always been the one that is injured. I mean I’ve seen my parents with issues of their own, but nothing like this. It’s so hard to be strong when you feel so lost.”

“This is a new experience for all of us. We are just going to have to fight through it.”

“I’m just so worried. I mean what if they tell us that they can’t treat it, or that the tumor is worse than they thought. What if they tell her that she only had two months to live. I have no idea what I would do if that happened. I don’t want to see her go through all of this. I just wish it could me laying in that bed hooked up to all the monitors with a tumor growing in my brain. Ali doesn’t deserve any of this.”

By this time the tears had been streaming for a little while. Kyle had shifted his seat at the table to be right next Ashlyn holding her. It felt good for Ashlyn to express these thoughts, but there was so much uncertainty in what was to come that she had no idea what to do.

“Ashlyn, I am going to be here to support you and Ali. My parents will probably be here really soon after we call them and I’m sure they will be there for you just as much as I am. Once we call your teammates, I’m sure Megan and Kelley will be on the first flight over. You have a huge family surrounding you and they will support you. You don’t need to be strong because we will be strong for you. You just need to stay by Ali’s side so that she knows she won’t lose you.”

All of what Kyle was saying was really hitting Ashlyn hard. She felt like she was able to breath for the first time in the last day and she was so thankful for that. Yes, there was a heck of a lot of stuff that was going to be thrown in their face, but she knew that Ali was a fighter and they would persevere through it. But there was one thing that Ashlyn still needed to get off of her back.

“I was going to propose to her last night.” Ashlyn blurted to Kyle.

She watched Kyle’s eyes widen in realization. Ashlyn had asked for his approval so he knew that she was going to be asking Ali soon, but he hadn’t realized that she had planned it for last night. His eyes filled with sympathy and he hugged her once again.

“Oh my god, Ashlyn. I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how that feels right now. Rather than celebrating at your house you’re at a hospital hoping that the new found tumor isn’t that severe and they are able to treat it.”

“Thanks for that last part. I needed to hear what we could have been doing right now.” Ashlyn said with a glare.

“Sorry.” Kyle said with a small laugh.

“I tried to do it twice last night. The first time Ali got really tense because she said she got really cold, but I don’t know if that was the truth anymore. The second time was right when she fainted. I was just about to turn in front of her when I felt her hand loosen from my grip and she fell to the ground.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. The exact moment you were trying to ask her was when she fainted. I’m going to give her crap about that later.” Kyle said laughing.

“You better not, otherwise you might end up in a hospital bed like Ali.”

“Wow, feisty.”

The mood of their conversation had lightened considerably and the tears had stopped. Both of the decided it was time to walk back to the hospital since Ali would probably be waking up soon and her MRI would be soon also.

///

Kyle opened the door to Ali’s room quietly once they made it back from the coffee shop to see that Ali was awake already. He flicked the lights on and sat down in a chair off to the side of the bed. Ashlyn walked up to Ali and gave her a quick kiss.

“Hey Ali, how ya feeling?”

“I still have a headache, but my nausea has gone away.”

“That’s good. We can probably get Dr. Fletcher to give you some medication for the headache.”

“That would be great. Where did you too go? You smell like coffee.”

“You guessed it. We went to a coffee shop down the street. I needed to get out of the hospital for a little bit and get some stuff off my chest.”

“That’s what Kyle is good for. But you know that already.” Ali said smiling, her nose wrinkling.

“When did you wake up?” Ashlyn asked.

“Around 10 minutes ago. You know it’s okay to leave me for a while. Of course I like having you both here, but I know you need some personal time too, so do I.”

“I know. I just hate leaving you here.”

“Ashlyn. I’m fine. I’m a grown woman. You are too.”

“Oh, be quiet Ali.” Ashlyn said as the room filled with laughter. “So, not to be a downer or anything but are you ready to call your parents? We can wait until the MRI is over if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. They would want to know.”

Ali pulled out her phone and brought up her mom’s number. She quickly pressed the call button before she could change her mind. She just wanted to get this over with. The ringing from the phone seemed to last forever, but finally her mom picked up. Ali switched the phone to speaker so Kyle and Ashlyn could hear too.

“Hi, Alex.”

“Hey, Mom. Is dad around?”

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“I’ve got some news that both of you will want to hear. I would prefer it if I could tell you both together. Oh, and by the way, you’re on speaker phone. Kyle and Ash are here with me too.”

“Hi Kyle, hi Ashlyn. I’ll go grab Dad. One second.”

Ali looked up from the phone out at her brother and girlfriend with a nervousness that neither of them had ever seen in Ali’s eyes. They could hear a shuffling from the phone and soon Ali’s mom and dad were on the other side.

“Hi Ali, Kyle, and Ashlyn. What’s up?” Ali’s dad said.

“I really don’t know how to say this right now, so I’ll try my best.” Ali said.

Ashlyn could hear the nerves in her voice and gave her an encouraging nod to continue.

“Last night Ashlyn and I were walking on the beach and I, uh, I fainted.”

“What? Is everything alright?” Her parents butted in.

“Let me finish please.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“I guess I wasn’t waking up so Ashlyn called an ambulance and we were taken to the hospital. The doctors did some tests to try to see why I fainted and they, um, they… took a CT and found a brain tumor.”

Ali let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. You could hear her parents take a deep breath on the other side, trying to keep themselves together.

“Oh my god, sweetheart. We’ll try to get down there as soon as we can. Stay strong Alex.”

“Thanks Mom. But really, I’m alright. They are going to get an MRI in about 15 minutes so they can get a few more pictures of the tumor. They don’t really know much other than that I have a tumor in my brain. They haven’t figured out what type, how severe it is, or any treatment yet, so I can’t really give you that much information.”

“Okay. We’ll start praying. We will be on the first flight out to Orlando. We love you honey.”

“Love you too. I’ll see you soon.”

Ali hung up and you could see her trying to hold back tears. She closed her eyes and was taking deep breaths. Ashlyn was trying to encourage her.

“Ali, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to give you the same spiel that Kyle had to give me this morning. I know you want to stay strong, but this is going to be hard and it’s okay to break down. You are going to have so many people surrounding you that will be there to support you. So many people love you. You are not going to go through this alone.”

“I don’t want you guys to have to take all the weight of this though.”

“Ali, stop. We want to take the weight for you. I promise. We don’t want you to do this alone.”

“You’re right and I know that. I hate this.”

There was a slight knock on the door and Dr. Fletcher’s voice came from behind it.

“Is this a bad time?”

“No, you’re fine. Come in.”

Dr. Fletcher pushed the door open and walked in the room sensing the mood in the room.

“It’s time for your MRI Ali. I’ll take you back now.”

A nurse walked in with a wheelchair and Ali slowly got out of bed and into the wheelchair. Ashlyn leaned down for a kiss and Ali was out the door seconds later.

“I hate seeing her like this. She feels so bad, but she has nothing to feel bad for.” Ashlyn said angrily.

“It’s just the way Ali is. She puts others before herself.” Kyle replied.

“I know that, but in this situation she is going to have to learn not to do that. She is the one having to lay in a hospital bed. She is the one with a tumor growing in her brain.”

“She’ll get there. It’s just going to take her some time, but I know she’ll come around. It’s going to take time for all of us to get used to the new reality.”

///

An hour later, Ali was wheeled back into the room.

“Hey, Ali. How’d it go?”

“Good. I fell asleep anyway.”

“I would’ve done the same thing.”

The nurse who pushed Ali back to the room turned around right before leaving the room. “We should get the results back in about an hour.”

“Okay thank you.” Kyle responded.

“Have you heard anything from mom or dad about when they’ll be here?” Ali questioned.

“No, I’m sure they’re busy packing or finding a flight or something. Don’t worry Alex. They’ll be here soon.” Kyle said.

“I know. And in the meantime, there are a few more people that we might want to tell.” Ali shot Ashlyn a worried glance knowing this might be even tougher than telling her parents, especially because there were so many of them.

“You sure you’re ready to tell them yet? They might, uh, react a little differently than your parents and soon enough we’ll have 30 people sitting in the waiting room for you.” Ashlyn quickly asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

“They are our best friends. They care about us. They deserve to know. Besides, the last time this happened to someone, they waited just a little too long to tell someone and the team, really everyone, was not happy. I don’t want that to happen to me because then you two would have to step in. They want to be here to support. It’s what their best at, not that they don’t get a little bit over protective sometimes.”

The room filled with laughter as Ali and Ashlyn reminisced on the past years with the team.

“Does somebody feel left out?” Ali asked Kyle, laughing one again.

“Who? Me? No…Okay yes.” Kyle’s face lit up like a tomato out of embarrassment.

Once the laughter died down, the room became more serious.

“So, where do you want to start?”

Those few words from Ashlyn rung throughout the room keeping them all silent for a few moments. This was just one more step in their new journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love it if you guys could leave some comments on what you think about the story, any improvements, any ideas for what's next come. Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!

The phones ringing filled the room as they all prepared to tell the next person. The sound of someone picking up on the other end startled Ali.

“Hey Ali!” Came the voice of another defender.

“Hey Kell. How are you doing? Oh, and by the way, you’re on speaker and Ash and Kyle are with me.”

Kelley had been the first one that Ali and Ashlyn had thought of to call. They knew that she was going to be very caring and helpful with this whole situation, and wouldn’t freak out too much, at least that’s what they were hoping. Kelley had been by Ali’s side ever since their start with the national team, and they had been great friends ever since.

“Better than ever. How about the amazing couple, oh, and Kyle.”

“We’re good. But we’ve uh, got some news for you.”

“What is it? Tell me, tell me, tell me.”

Everyone laughed at Kelley’s excitement, but once they realized how let down she would be, the room fell silent.

“Well?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. So the last two days have been pretty eventful for Ash and I. I don’t really know how to say this, but um, I have a brain tumor.”

“What? Oh my god. How did you find out? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay. There’s isn’t anything to worry about yet. I promise. I, uh fainted last night and I didn’t wake up for a while, so I got, um, rushed to the hospital and they took a CT, which is where they saw the tumor.”

“Is it bad?”

“We don’t know that much about it yet other than it’s there. I just had an MRI so they could get a closer look.”

“Do you want me to come down?”

“I would love it if you could, but my parents will be down here soon and I already have Ash and Kyle here so if you can’t I completely understand.”

“Well you’re in luck. I don’t have to go back to New Jersey for a week or two so I will be down there with you as soon as possible.”

“Thanks Kell. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Just as they were about to hang up, Ali remembered one more request she had for her fellow defender.

“Oh, and Kell.”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Can you, kind of keep this to yourself for now? I want to tell everyone myself.”

“Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

The phone line went dead and Ali let out a sigh of relief.

“That went well.” Ashlyn told Ali.

“Yeah, but I have a feeling there are some other conversations that may not turn out that well.”

“No kidding. We’ve got some dramatic teammates.” Ashlyn said, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Thankfully, Kelley is not one of those.”

///

“Okay, we’ve got the results.” Dr. Fletcher said as he closed the door. “I would recommend everyone sits down because this is going to be a lot of information to take in. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask them. That’s what I’m here for.”

Everyone in the room was taking deep breaths preparing themselves for the news. Ashlyn and Kyle were sitting on each side of Ali holding her hand. The only question any of them had at this moment was who was going to break down first.

“So this is the MRI and the CT scan. As you can tell, the MRI gives up a little bit more detail about the tumor, especially with the contrast we used. A few other doctors and I looked at the scans and we were able to come to a conclusion that you have a meningioma –”

“And what does that mean?” Ashlyn jumped in.

“That’s what I was getting to.” Ashlyn blushed. Her nervousness was showing through. Ali glanced over at her, holding in a giggle knowing how embarrassed Ashlyn was. “A meningioma is typically a very slow growing tumor, or a benign tumor.”

“What does benign mean?” Ali asked. Ashlyn looked over at Ali and could tell how intently she was listening to Dr. Fletcher’s every word. She wanted to know specifically what was wrong in as much detail as humanly possible. Ashlyn could see the fight in her girlfriend’s eyes.

“Benign is non-cancerous. So that would mean you just have a mass of cells in your brain, that won’t grow or cause any more harm than they already have.”

The defender’s eyes lit up. Hearing that the tumor could possibly not be cancer was a relief and I’m sure it would be for everyone else too. She gripped Kyle and Ash’s hand a little tighter.

“So based on that information, you have a few options for treatment. The first one, that is going to be the best option is surgery.” Ash now had Ali’s hand in a death grip.

“Ash, you have the hand grip of a lion’s jaw. You don’t need to squeeze my hand that hard. I already have a headache; you don’t need to break my hand too.”

“Oh, uh, sorry.” Ali just laughed.

“As, I was saying, surgery is the best option, but there is also radiation and chemotherapy too.”

“Could you explain more of what each of these would involve?”

“Of course. With the surgery, we would be doing a biopsy where we would be able to get most of the tumor out and we would also be able to figure out whether the tumor is cancerous or not. With the surgery, if we aren’t able to get the whole tumor out, you would still have to get radiation or chemo to kill the rest of the what’s left. If you decide to opt out of surgery, there would be chemo, radiation, or both and it would be much more intense.”

“Okay, so surgery is what you recommend?”

“For sure. I would choose surgery in a heartbeat, but there are some people who choose not to.”

“What are the risks of the surgery?” Kyle asked.

“Obviously there are the typical ones that come with any surgery, but with this being brain surgery and the placement of the tumor, there can be a few more than normal. As your tumor is on the outer edge of your brain, it makes it easier to access, but with the tumor being in the frontal lobe, there is possibility that it could affect your behavior or movements.”

“What exactly do you mean by it could affect my behavior or movement?” Ali was not looking forward to the answer to this question.

“The frontal lobe has many different functions, movement and behavior being two of them. This surgery could possibly damage parts of the brain and make your behavior be, say more aggressive, or make you have relearn how to do some types of movements. I am going to leave you with this and let you guys think about this for a while. You can let me know your choice when you’re ready.”

“Okay. Thank you.” And with that, the three of them were left sitting in the hospital room, silent.

Kyle eyed Ali nervously. It was quite noticeable that he wasn’t exactly sold on the idea of brain surgery. In his head the risks greatly outweighed the positives, but Ali was not about to let him persuade her away from the surgery.

“Kyle. I know you love me and I know you don’t want me to get hurt, but do you really want to see me suffer through chemo?” Kyle stopped and thought about it for a second, but Ali jumped in again to stop him. “This surgery is going to make the process go faster. I wouldn’t choose to go through any of this if I could, but I don’t have that choice so I am going to make the best with what I have. For me, that is surgery.” Ali was getting emotional. Ashlyn could sense she was very passionate about this choice.

“Ali. I am going to stand by you with whatever choice you make. Whether that is surgery or not, it is your decision. This is your body, your brain, but I want you to know for a fact that you are making the right decision.”

Ali looked up at her girlfriend feeling very relieved. She was glad that at least one of the two people she loved most was on her side right now.

“But Al –” Kyle tried to start.

“Kyle. No. This is my choice. This is what I am going to do. If you don’t decide to support me in my choice, all I ask is that you are able to still stay by my side as I go through this.”

“Of course Alex. I would never leave your side, especially now. But what if the surgery goes wrong, what if they damage something that stops you from playing soccer, what if –”

“Kyle I said stop. You’re not going to change my mind.”

///

Ali perked up as she heard a light knock on the door. Ashlyn watched her eyes light up as her parents walked into the room.

“Oh Alex. I’m so sorry.” Her mom ran towards her opening her arms for a hug.

“It’s nice to see you.”

“How are you doing? Is it bad? I want all the details.”

“Let’s slow down. I just want to catch up a little first. I’ve done too much talking about me in the last two days.”

Ali really had been getting sick of all the worrying everyone else had been doing about her. She had been stuck in the bed for the last two days, barely taken more than 5 steps and it was really starting to take its effect. For someone who was usually so athletic, being stuck in one spot for two days was really hard. She desperately wanted to go on a run, but by the way Ashlyn, Kyle, and now her parents would be protecting her, she knew how small of a chance there was for that. She just wanted to hear about something other than her brain tumor.

“Fine. We’ve been good. So now you.”

The glare that Ali gave her parents was enough to tell them their response wasn’t good enough.

“We’ve visited your uncle in Tennessee and that was good. We’ve been spending a lot of time outside and going on walks. But please, I want to hear about you.” Her mom said pleading with Ali. It took a little bit of desperation, but Ali gave in.

“Only because you’re my parents, but I’m going to give you the brief version.” Her parents stared at Ali intently, happy with any information they were going to hear about how their princess was doing. “My doctor, Dr. Fletcher, said that I have a meningioma, which is usually a slow growing or non-cancerous tumor. He gave me a few options for treatment but I’ve already decided that I am going to get surgery.”

Her parents’ eyes bulged at the sound of surgery. They too seemed a little on the edge about it just as Kyle was.

“Ali, have you thought about this enough. Why make the decision so quickly? Brain surgery is a big deal.”

“Mom. Please trust me. This is my decision. I have gone through many surgeries before and I’ve had no issues. I trust the doctors. They know what they’re doing.”

“But Alex, the brain is such a sensitive thing. There are so many things that could go wrong.”

“You don’t think I know that? I want to do the surgery. End of story.”

The room was silent for a while. Nobody was willing to talk. Kyle and her parents had plead their case to Ali, but she wasn’t going to budge. Ali decided she had enough of sitting in her room.

“Well, I’m going to go find Dr. Fletcher and tell him my decision.”

Kyle looked as though he was going to fight back, but stopped himself in the act deciding it wasn’t worth it. Ali had her own mindset with this whole thing and whatever anybody else said wasn’t going to change anything.

“I’m coming with you. I don’t care what you say.” Ashlyn jumped up from her chair to help Ali out of the bed she had barely moved from in over 24 hours.

The two of them walked out the door, Ali seemingly on a mission to find Dr. Fletcher, but their mission stopped dead in their feet as Ashlyn ran straight into the doctor. Both of them stumbled backwards a few steps, a little stunned.

“What are you doing up and out of bed?” Dr. Fletcher asked once he regained his composure.

“She was insistent on finding you.” Ashlyn laughed.

“Well, how are you feeling?”

“Really good. I needed the exercise. These legs needed to get moving again.” Dr. Fletcher laughed knowing it was the athlete in Ali talking.

“Well, I was just heading into your room, so we can go back in there and we can arrange for you to get a little exercise later.”

Ali was slightly reluctant to move as she didn’t want to tell Dr. Fletcher in front of her parents, but she also didn’t want to seem like a child so she slowly walked back into the room behind Ashlyn and Dr. Fletcher.

“So have you made any decisions yet?”

“Uh, yeah. I want to do the surgery.” Ali looked around the room looking for reactions of support from her parents and brother, but she saw nothing. Just a questioning and angry face from the three of them.

A smile formed on Dr. Fletcher’s face as he was happy with her choice.

“Okay. We will get that scheduled as soon as possible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave feedback in the comments!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry this took so long to post. This last week has been extremely busy for me between school, soccer, and church and it took me FOREVER to get this finished. I was struggling to think of ways to word things and make it sound more meaningful and emotional. I hope I did this justice.

“We have the surgery set up for September 5th at 9 am. So you’ve got two days to prepare yourself.”

Ashlyn gripped her girlfriend’s hand knowing how nervous Ali was even though she was so confident in her choice.

“Okay. Thank you Dr. Fletcher.” Ashlyn said as he walked out of the room.

The three girls in the room all looked at each other taking deep breaths. This was a big step and Ali knew how much her choice scared everyone including herself. To think of a surgeon poking and prodding at her brain and cutting a large mass of cells out of her brain that had been there for who knows how long scared the heck out of her, but thinking of the pain of going through chemo scared her even more.

“You are going to fighting this tumor. After all, you are the princess warrior.” Kelley said.

The three teammates started laughing together. Kelley had been by Ali’s side when she tore her ACL and Ali had been by Kelley’s side when she recovered from her ankle surgery, so it was no surprise that Kelley was at Ali’s side supporting her at this moment.

“Okay. Now that you’re here. We might want to call some of the other girls to let them know.”

“You haven’t told anyone else?” Kelley asked surprised.

Ali just smiled and laughed a little. “No… We’ve kind of put it off a little. We know how much they’ll freak out.”

“True. Well thanks for dragging me into telling them.” Kelley laughed as she and Ashlyn pulled up a chair. “So who’s first on the list?”

“Well, let’s just say Megan might be a little mad if I tell more people before her so I think it might be wise to start there. Even telling you over her first willing probably be bad in her eyes.”

Just as Ali had pulled up Pinoe’s number and was about to press the call button, a text from Kyle came in.

‘Hsy Alex how arw you doinh’

Ali put a confused look on her face, attempting to interpret what Kyle was asking. Kelley and Ash were quickly leaning down to the phone to see what was happening. Nobody seemed to have any idea what was happening, but Ali had something in mind that scared her even just the slightest bit more than her upcoming surgery. She attempted to play it off.

‘Good. Where are you?’

The three of them sat there patiently waiting for a response.

“Why don’t we just call Pinoe now and you can talk to Kyle in a little bit.” Kelley offered.

“No.” Ali said quickly. “I’m going to wait for him to reply.”

Ali’s attempt to play it off was not working very well. As Ashlyn and Kelley knew her so well, they could sense each and every emotion coming from Ali. This meant they could sense how scared she was. For what, they had no idea, but they could definitely tell something was on her mind.

“Alex, what’s wrong? He just asked you a question.” Kelley questioned.

“Nothing. I just uh, wanted to talk to talk to him. He left a few hours ago and I wasn’t sure where he went.”

“Yeah. Okay sure.” Ashlyn and Kelley laughed knowing how much of a lie Ali’s last sentence was. “Seriously Ali, you can tell us anything, what’s bugging you?”

Ali sat there for a while deciding how to form her words and trying keep herself composed. She knew she could tell them anything, but she didn’t want to worry them over something that doesn’t end up being true. But Ali knew her brother well, and she just had this feeling that something wasn’t right.

“I um, I think Kyle might have…” Ali trailed off as a tear slipped down her face. Both Ash and Kelley were right by her side in an instant.

“Alex, it’s okay. Just get it out. You’ll feel better once it’s not bundled up inside of you.” Her best friends pressured her.

Ali took a deep breath, wiped away her tears and spoke quickly. “I think he relapsed.”

Everything in the room seemed to fall into slow motion. Now that the words had been spoken it pushed it into reality. Ali broke down into a pile of tears laying her hands in her face. Ashlyn and Kelley had fallen still and hadn’t moved even a centimeter since Ali spoke. The text, how long Kyle had been gone, how late it was getting all pieced together and the defender and goalkeeper now knew exactly why Ali was so worried. Nobody spoke for what seemed like 20 minutes.

///

“Where’s Kyle’s favorite bar?” Kelley asked.

“It should be just around the corner up here. At least it used to be his favorite. I don’t think he’s been there since you know…”

The car fell silent as they kept driving farther up the road. They turned into the parking lot of the bar and searched for Kyle’s car but had no such luck. Two ideas flooded to Ali’s head. Either he walked there, which was what she was hoping for, or he had already left, drunk, and in real danger of killing himself and a lot of other people. Their only choice was to look inside and desperately hope to find Kyle.

///

Kyle just couldn’t believe that Ali had chosen to go with the surgery, even against his wishes. He was her only brother and she loved him to the moon and back. How could she choose to do something that scared the living shit out of him. He needed a break to get out of the hospital, take in all of what was happening. The situation that had been thrown in front of him reminded him to much of what had happened to Ali just over 11 years earlier. It brought him back to a time that he really did not want to go back to in more ways than one. Bringing his brain back to the past, also brought him back to the way he coped with it all then too. That was drinking.

“My sister has a brain tumor and she is going to get surgery to take it out. She could die or lose the ability to speak, but apparently she doesn’t care.” Kyle said with a big laugh.

These words were spoken in the middle of the bar, to no one in particular, but rather just to get it out. By this time, Kyle was as drunk as could be. He had made the decision to break his sobriety and there was no going back.

///

Walking into the bar in search of Kyle was something that was all too familiar for Ali. She had done it too many times to count. She thought she was done saving Kyle’s ass, but apparently she was wrong. The lights and music were blasting, people were everywhere, and Kyle was nowhere to be seen. The three of them pushed through the people surrounding them, attempting to get closer to the bar, where Kyle was assumed to be. They were correct.

“Kyle. What are you doing? Do you really want to go back to the life you had before?”

Kyle jumped up and turned around to face his sister. He was a little surprised to see that they had found him there.

“Well do you want to lose your life or your way of life because it seems that’s what you are trying to do.”

The words spilled out without a thought. Even in Kyle’s impaired state, he was still able to tell how much he had just screwed up. Ali stormed out of the bar. She was done dealing with Kyle, but Kyle wasn’t done with her. He dropped his drink, rushed out of the bar, and attempted to catch up to her. Ashlyn and Kelley just stood there shocked at what they had witnessed.

///

Now Ali was the one who was nowhere to be found. She had just barely been let out of the hospital after she had pleaded with the nurses to let her go find her brother, and now that they couldn’t find her, everyone was in trouble.

“Where do you think she could be?” Kelley questioned.

“She wouldn’t be at the house because that’s too obvious. She could be… at Kyle’s house, but she definitely wouldn’t want to be there right now. I honestly have no idea.”

“I lost sight of her really fast. I just barely saw her get in her car and thankfully I wasn’t dumb enough to get into my car and go after her.”

Kyle was still quite drunk, but he was so focused on finding Ali, that it didn’t seem to be making that much of an effect. He was pissed at himself for drinking, for not thinking before he spoke, for not being able to follow Ali. Ashlyn could see him sitting in the corner of the room looking as though he was ready to cry.

“Kyle. Please. Don’t be this hard on yourself. You were drunk –”

“No. Being drunk does not give me a right to say any of that. She is my sister. I need to support her. No matter what she chooses to do and whether I like it or not.”

“I think we should let Ali let off some steam. It’s late and we’re all tired. She’ll be able to find a place to stay for the night.”

Kyle and Kelley didn’t seem satisfied, but they agreed. Ali wouldn’t be willing to talk tonight anyway. They told the doctors what was happening and to say the least, they were not happy, at all.

///

Ali found a hotel to stay in for the night as she desperately didn’t want to deal with her drunk brother for the night. He had made his choice. He was obviously not happy with her choice and she didn’t want to be involved with anyone who didn’t support her in this. She needed some time alone and this was the only way she could think of to do that.

Her phone kept ringing on her bedside table, but knowing that it was Ashlyn, Kyle, or Kelley calling her to find out where she was, she just turned it on silent, flipped off the lights in the room, and tried to fall asleep.

///

Kyle couldn’t sleep that night. He kept yelling at himself for being so stupid. He couldn’t believe he had broken his sobriety of 10 years, something that he was so proud of. He couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth, especially directed towards his sister, who was likely feeling as scared as he was about the whole situation. He knew he has royally screwed up and he needed to fix it now or who knows when the next time he was going to sleep was. He tossed and turned in his bed at home until he finally gave up at 2 in the morning and decided that he was going to call Ali now, whether she liked it or not.

As the phone rang in his hand, he anxiously awaited to hear his sister’s voice. The seconds that ticked by felt like hours until Ali, just as groggy as Kyle, spoke on the other line.

“Kyle. Please don’t do this right now.”

“Alex. Please, I’m begging you. Just let me at least apologize then I’ll let you –”

“No. I’m not doing this right now. You miserably fucked up and I hope you know that.”

“Of course I know I screwed up. I haven’t been able to sleep because of it. You’re my sister and you mean the world to me. What I said was completely unacceptable. Like I told you when you decided on your surgery, I may not agree with your choice, but that does not mean I am not going to support you. There is not a single part of me that does not support you.”

“Then how come you decided to go out and drink. How come you ruined such a good thing that you had going for yourself. You had been doing so well, even with all of what has happened in your life and just the moment that I start tumbling down the hill, you decide to make one of the dumbest decisions of your life.” Kyle could clearly hear the tears coming from Ali at this point. “I need you to be there for me, really, fully, there. I don’t want you drunk in any way. I need you to be sober and from what I can tell at this moment you are nowhere near that.”

Kyle just sat there on his bed and listened to all Ali had to say. He deserved every single word that was spilling out of his sister’s mouth. Not only did he deserve it, he needed it to knock him back to the right state of mind to be there for her.

“What the hell made you think that going back to drinking was going to solve any issue because I thought you had learned long ago that drinking doesn’t solve anything, it just causes more issues.” Ali thought back to the last time she had seen Kyle drunk and she broke down into a puddle of tears, but even through her tears she managed to get a few words out. “You scared the shit out of me tonight Kyle. I am scared enough as it is about my surgery, but you know what scared me more? The thought of you going back into the dark place that I had to help pull you from.”

Kyle took a sharp intake at those words. He knew he had screwed up, but had underestimated the extent of it. He knew his drinking had affected his family in the past, but he now knew that he was to the breaking point.

“Alex. Thank you. I deserved all of that. Where are you? Please let me come stay with you.

“I’m, um, at the hotel across the street from your apartment building. Room 112”

“I will be over in two minutes. I love you Alex.”

“I love you too Kyle.”

///

“I guess I just didn’t know what to do. The only way I coped with it when you were in the hospital with your embolisms was alcohol. Seeing you in such a frail and weak state just brought me back to that time way too much. Then hearing you choose to get the surgery scared the heck out of me and I really didn’t know what to do with myself. It was overwhelming. At first, I was able to hold myself back, but then it all really hit me and I just broke. The bad thoughts in my head just took over and I drove myself over to the bar. I honestly don’t even remember making the decision to go to the bar because the thoughts were so consuming. The only time when I actually clicked back into reality was when you started running out.”

Kyle and Ali had been up together talking for the last few hours. By this time, the sun was already up and neither had gotten any sleep. Both of them felt immensely better now that had gotten the chance to express their feelings and actually see the other side.

“Kyle. I’m sorry for being so mad –”

“No. Ali. I was the one who went out and drank. I was the one who said things to you that should have never been said out loud. I am supposed to be there to support you. I am you brother. You are the one who is supposed to be laying in a hospital bed sleeping right now. Speaking of that, we should be getting you back otherwise we will get in more trouble with the doctor’s than we already are.”

“Fine. We can go back, but only after I ask you one question. Were any of the things you said last night true or what you are really thinking?”

Kyle stopped and thought back to just hours before. “I guess that is what I thought, yes. I mean brain surgery is a big deal and all the risks Dr. Fletcher talked about scared the crap out of me. I don’t want you to end up not being able to play soccer. I don’t want you to die. I still support you of course, especially now that I see your point of view, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still nervous for the surgery.”

“Of course I don’t want to die or lose the ability to play soccer, but there are those risks for any surgery. I’m scared half to death for the surg…” Ali’s voice trailed off as she slowly leaned her head forward placing her head into her hands. Her eyes started to well up from the amount of pain she was feeling.

“Ali, Alex, what’s wrong? Please talk to me.”

“My, my head. It hurts. Bad. Let’s go… to the hospital.”

Within seconds, Kyle was grabbing Ali’s stuff and helping her walk out the door. She could barely walk under her own power, which quickly showed Kyle the severity of the headache that had overcome Ali.

Kyle lightly whispered to himself as they started the drive to the hospital. “This is all my fault. Why didn’t I take her back to the hospital earlier?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and feedback! I'd love to hear what you guys thought about this chapter and how you like the story!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long to post!! I have been really busy with school and soccer lately so it took really long to get this written. I wanted to post it by last Friday but obviously that didn't happen. Really hope you guys like it, especially since I left you guys on such a cliff hanger on the last post. :)

“No, Ali, you need to stay in the car. I am going to get you a wheelchair.” Kyle yelled at Ali as she tried to get out of the car.

The car ride seemed to last forever and wasn’t helping the headache that had overcome Ali at all. As the car lurched to a stop in the front of the hospital, it seemed Kyle was out the door before she could even move a centimeter. Within a minute, Kyle was running back out the door with Dr. Fletcher and a few other nurses following behind him. Ali was slowly helped into a wheelchair and brought to her room. The reactions on Ashlyn and Kelley’s faces when they saw her being wheeled into the room were looks of extreme worry.

“Alex, where have you been?” Ashlyn practically screamed at her.

Only a slight groan came from Ali as the loud noise made her head throb even more. After realizing that Ali was in a large amount of pain, Ashlyn ignored the unanswered question and rushed to her side. Kyle’s voice could be heard just outside the door, nervously talking to Dr. Fletcher.

“She and I were just talking and suddenly she leaned over and put her hands on her head. I could tell right away that she was in a great deal of pain. I didn’t care whether it was serious or not, I was going to rush her over her as fast as I could.”

Before Kyle could ramble any more, Dr. Fletcher jumped in, trying to calm him down a little.

“Kyle, you made the right choice. We will give her some pain meds to control the headache, but for the sake of Ali’s safety, we might want to look into moving the surgery to today, as soon as we can fit it in. I think it would be best if we were just to get as much of the tumor out as fast as possible.”

Ali’s eyes shot open and she slowly tried to sit up in her bed. “But –” Her words stopped quickly as she realized that she wasn’t going to be able to get more out until her pain was lowered.

Thankfully though, Kelley could sense what she wanted to say. “She has a lot of people that she wants to tell before she is going to be willing to go into surgery.” Ali’s grip tightened on Kelley’s hand in attempt to show her that’s what she wanted to say. “How long were you thinking before she was taken back?”

“I would say about 4 hours or so. All of the operating rooms are filled right now, so it could be later depending on how long those surgeries take.”

Kelley looked over at Ali with a questioning look. Four hours to tell more than 20 people about a brain tumor that she was about to get surgery on. Ali nodded.

“Okay.” Ali just barely whispered.

The pain from the headache was still overwhelming her, but now Ali had to focus on controlling the nerves too. She thought she had another day to prepare herself, to take it all in, to tell herself that everything was going to be okay. Four hours filled with constantly telling people that are completely clueless about this whole situation was not exactly how she had imagined preparing herself for a surgeon to cut open her skull, and take out chunks of her brain.

///

“So, are we going to start with Pinoe?” Ashlyn asked.

“Yes. Now that we’ve waited three days to tell her, let’s just say that she probably won’t be very happy, even more once she finds out that she wasn’t first.”

Kelley glanced over at Ali with a guilty grin.

“Sorry that I’m your best friend.” Kelly said with a laugh.

“I don’t know if Pinoe would agree. At all.”

“Well if she doesn’t agree then she is sadly mistaken.”

“We’ll just have to see.”

The ring from the phone filled Ali’s ears and she started to panic a little.

“I don’t know if I want to tell them. I can’t do this.”

“Alex. It’s going to be okay. They want to know and you will feel better once you tell –”

“Ali! Hey girl! What’s up?” Pinoe’s voice came through the phone.

There was no voice in the room for a few seconds. Nobody knew what to say, or how to start.

“Hello? Is anybody there?”

“Yeah, sorry. I got uh, a little distracted. You’re on speaker phone right now with Ash and Kell.”

“Kelley! Ashlyn! What’s going on?”

“We’ve um, got some news.”

“Wait don’t tell me. Let me guess. Um… Oh I’ve got it! Ali’s prego!”

“No!” All three of them said in unison.

“Then what is it?”

“Megan, I, um, I’m getting surgery later today to take out a brain tumor.”

Silence.

“Wait, what?” Pinoe said after a few seconds.

“I was diagnosed with a brain tumor two days ago and I’m getting surgery to get it removed today.”

“Surgery? On your brain? Wait, why am I just learning of this now?”

“Megan, please. It’s been a busy few days. You are the second person to learn of this besides my family, so be glad you were this far on the top of the list.”

“So do you, uh, want me to come down there?”

“If you’re not busy.”

“Oh come on Ali. Do you really think that I would do anything over coming to see you?”

“No.” She said with a smile. “I just didn’t want to force you to come down here.”

“There’s no need to force me! I’ll be down as soon as possible! Love you Ali! Oh and Ash and Kell!”

“Megan, one more thing. Try your hardest not to tell anyone else. I would like to tell them personally.”

A nervous laugh came through the phone. “No promises, but I guess I’ll try.”

“Love you Megan. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye!” Ash and Kell quickly said before Ali hung up.

Ali started laughing as soon as she pressed the end button. Both Kelley and Ashlyn stared at her and each other in deep confusion.

“What’s so funny?” Kelley asked once she couldn’t take it anymore.

Ali settled down a little and controlled her laughing. “I figured when I called Pinoe she would be all light and cheery like she usually is, but even this… even this seemed to scare her. I mean, she didn’t even say anything at first. How is everyone else going to react if even the happiest of us all gets scared and suddenly becomes quiet? I want to tell them, but I don’t want to scare them. Kyle is so scared that he broke his sobriety, how do I know that everyone else might do something similar.”

“Ali. Come on. You’re over reacting. Kyle is your brother, of course he’s going to react. He’s been there for you –”

“They’re all basically my sisters. How do you know that they aren’t going to react just the same way that Kyle did?”

The tears from Ali’s eyes were streaming down her face. She couldn’t hold in her worries anymore. They were all spilling out. Ashlyn was overwhelmed. She had thought that Ali was handling all of this so well. Yes, she knew she had freaked out when Kyle got drunk, but she had figured that it was just because she was so upset with Kyle. Ali had been so strong through breaking her leg, her blood clots, tearing her ACL, but Ashlyn had realized that this was the final breaking point. Ashlyn could feel her own tears starting to fall down her face.

“Ali, I know this scares you, but I also know that you can fight through this. You aren’t going to go through this alone. You are going to have so many people standing behind you, ready to hold you and be there for you whenever you need them too. Telling the girls is going to be the best option. Think of how they would react if they knew that you had undergone such a major surgery without their knowledge. Of course they are going to be scared, but isn’t everyone in situations like this. I am always there for you when you need help. Whether that’s telling the rest of the girls or just being there to hold your hand while you do it yourself, I’m there, no matter what.”

Ali sniffled a little, trying to control her breathing. She felt a little relief knowing that some of her fears had been put to rest, she still had many more fears to be spoken, but for now, it was time to tell her best friends.

“Thank you Ash. I would love it if both of you guys could call some of them. If anybody you call wants to talk to me that’s fine, but I would like some time to think things over before the surgery if I could. I can call Sydney, Abby, Broon, and Jill, but if you two could call the rest I would love you forever.”

“Are you saying you don’t already love us forever?” Kelley jumped in, trying to bring some humor in.

“Come on Kell. You know I love you.”

///

The same thing happened with Sydney, Abby, and Becky. They all were shocked, at least they had been when Pinoe spilled it to some of them and would all be down here as soon as possible. The waiting room was sure to be filled with worried people by the end of Ali’s surgery. Ashlyn and Kelley both had a few people who wanted to talk to Ali, but she decided she was going to wait until she had called her last person, Jill. Never did she think telling her coach would be so hard, but she had thought wrong. Once she had pressed the call button she wanted to end it, but she knew there was no going back.

“Hello, Ali.”

“Hey Jill. I’ve, uh, got some news.”

Ali fell silent waiting until she felt she was ready to let it all spill out. This situation was a little different. She is close with all of her teammates in a different way than she is with Jill. She had been the coach for almost two full years now so they all knew her pretty well, but the relationship was just different. She was her boss, and telling your boss that you have a tumor and will not only have to miss “work” for a while, but might even die, is a little hard.

“Hello?”

“Uh, sorry, got a little distracted. I have a brain tumor and I’m getting surgery on it in a few hours.”

“Wait, sorry, can you repeat that again? My service isn’t that great right now. All I heard was the word surgery so I need to hear this.”

Ali grumbled under her breath. Getting it out that one time was hard enough and now she had to say it again. Of course the one word that Jill had heard was surgery so that could tell her a number of things, but her first thought was most likely not that the surgery was for a brain tumor. She took a deep breath and spoke again.

“I have a brain tumor.” Ali spoke slowly and clearly making sure she wouldn’t have to say it again. “I’m getting surgery on it in a few hours.”

She heard Jill gasp. A million thoughts were running through Ali’s mind as to what Jill could be thinking. She herself didn’t even know what it meant for her future soccer career and she wasn’t prepared for any question that Jill had coming.

“Okay. So I’m guessing this means that you won’t be able to play for a while. Do you have any idea what the process for your treatment is going to be?”

“Yeah… I don’t really know much yet. The surgery will decide a lot of things as we will be able to know exactly what type of tumor it is and whether it is cancerous or not. Depending on how much of the tumor they get out, I might be doing chemo or radiation after the surgery.”

Jill was silent on the other end. It was quite noticeable that she was thinking, a lot.

“You better make sure to keep yourself as fit as possible.” Jill said with a laugh.

“Oh believe me. Being stuck in this hospital bed for the last few days has been terrible. I will be up and moving as soon as I possibly can. You can count on that.”

Ali was glad that Jill had gone to the light hearted side of this. There was no saying how she could have reacted whether angry, sad, or disappointed.

“Good. I guess I’ll just wish you the best of luck with your surgery today and hopefully I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.”

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

Ali hung up the phone and took a deep breath. She knew the next thing on her agenda for the day was surgery. The door cracked open a little and Kyle’s head popped through.

“Do you want to talk?”

“Yes. I would love that. I need somebody to calm me down before they slice open my brain.”

A slight shiver ran through Ali’s body as she said that. Maybe she was a little more scared than she had originally thought now that the surgery was so close and the real nerves were kicking in.

“So, do you want to talk about last night at all?”

“I don’t want to regret anything once I go into surgery let me just apologize. I overreacted. I should’ve been there to help you. I know you were at one of the lowest points that you’ve had in a long time and I need to be there for you, whether I was mad or not.”

“No. Ali. You had a right to react that way. I did something that I vowed never to do again. I should’ve said something and talked to someone before it got to that point. It’s my fault. I need to deal with the consequences for it.”

“Just because you messed up doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help you.”

“You are going through way more than I am right now. I need to be the one helping you, not the other way around.”

Ali wasn’t going to try to fight back. She knew that she was dealing with a lot right now and she needed all the support she could get.

“Just remember, that I will be there, ready to grant your every need as soon as you are out of surgery. I get to be your butler for the couple weeks as you recover because that’s what brothers are for.”

Ali smiled and felt a tear fall down her face. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have such an amazing brother that she loved so dearly.

“Thank you Kyle. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of struggled with how to end it, but I think it turned out okay. I will post the next chapter as soon as I write it! I would love it if you guys could leave me some feedback so I can make the story even better! Thanks for all your support!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since I've posted. Very sorry about that. My school year is winding down so finals are soon and I might not be able to post until after it ends, but this summer I should be able to post often. 
> 
> This chapter has a lot of interactions with more of the gals. It's pretty lighthearted and probably a little slow, but it's more of a transition chapter I guess.

Ali woke up in a complete daze. It took her a few seconds to focus on what was going on around her. She could hear beeping from the many monitors she was connected to and whispers from the people filling her room.

“Hey guys. She’s awake.” Ashlyn said quietly.

Suddenly all the voices were talking straight to her all at once. It completely overwhelmed her and she had to take a sharp breath and close her eyes.

“Everyone be quiet!” Christie yelled. “She just had brain surgery for god’s sake. Let’s take it down a notch.”

The room immediately fell silent. Even when they weren’t playing, Christie was still the captain.

“So how are you feeling?” Abby asked. She was still just as caring for everybody as she had always been.

“Okay. Tired and groggy, but I mean, I just had brain surgery and I’m on a lot of drugs.” Ali said slowly and with a laugh.

A few giggles came from her teammates.

“How is your pain?” Ashlyn asked nervously.

“It’s fine right now. More of just a fullness and pressure in my head.”

Dr. Fletcher opened the door a little, but stopped right away once he saw the large amount of people filling the room. Kelley was the first one to notice.

“Okay girls. I think it’s time to give Ali her space and let her doctor check in with her.”

Everyone started filing out of the room slowly, while Dr. Fletcher walked in behind them. Kelley and Ashlyn stayed behind, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“The surgery went well. We were able to remove almost all of the tumor, so we want you to undergo a round or two of radiation to get the last part.”

Ali felt her heart sink. She thought that she was going to be okay with just the surgery, but she was sadly mistaken. Ashlyn gripped her hand a little tighter sensing that the brunette was disappointed.

“Alex. You’re strong. You will be okay. I know you will.”

“We would like to start as soon as possible, but will for sure give you time to recover and gain a little strength back from the surgery. At the moment the earliest we would start is in about 2 weeks, but if you are feeling stronger sooner, we could start earlier.”

“Would I have to stay here while I was doing radiation?”

“No, it would be on an outpatient basis. You would come in a few times a week for multiple weeks until we were sure that there was no tumor left. Depending on how well it works, it could be a very short amount of time, very long, or somewhere in the middle.”

Everyone was silent. Ali couldn’t help but overthink the next choice. She had already made one big decision for her treatment and she didn’t know if she was ready to make another so quickly, especially when she had only just woken up from her surgery about 10 minutes before. Ashlyn was just worried about Ali. She hated seeing her go through all of this. Ali was strong, but she had already had one breakdown and she didn’t know how much longer the brunette would last before she had an even worse breakdown. All of this treatment breaks down your body, even worse than the constant beating they both get as soccer players.

“Thank you Dr. Fletcher. I think Ali is going to need some time. She still needs to wake up a little more and have some time to think clearly about all this.”

“Of course. Just let me know whenever you’re ready to talk.”

Both of them just sat in the room for a few minutes processing all of their thoughts. There was no doubt that this was just as big of a decision as the surgery was. Ali knew that this was going to be putting her out of soccer for a while, but she desperately wanted to get back to her team, her friends. This was just the start though.

///

“Are you feeling any better?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah. I’m not as tired as I was earlier so that helps. So, how are the other gals doing?”

“I think some of them are still taking it all in, I mean it’s a lot, but they seem good.”

“Thanks for being here Crys. I really needed a change in scenery. No offense to my parents, Kyle, Ashlyn, or Kelley, but I needed to talk to someone other than the five of them.”

“Well I’m glad I’m here too. Believe me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“Oh come on. I know you want to be with Jo and the rest of the spirit gals. So do I! It feels like we haven’t seen them in months.”

“Fine. You caught me. But you know I love you."

“Well of course you do, but that doesn’t mean you need to lie. Just be yourself. I’m not any different just because I’m sick.”

Crystal just sighed. She didn’t really know what to say. Seeing such a good friend struggling so much and so weak was something that was just so hard, it was not easy to treat her normally.

“Crys. Come on. Please talk to me. Get out whatever you need to say.”

Ali looked over at Crystal sitting on the chair in the corner of the room. She was looking away from her. The defender leaned forward and saw a small tear falling down Crystal’s face.

“Crystal. Oh my god. Get your butt over here.”

Crystal jumped out of her seat and whipped the tears off of her face. She quickly walked over to the side of the bed.

“I… I’m sorry. I just hate seeing you like this. I want you to be okay so badly, but I know that’s not always the case and I just don’t know –”

“Crystal!” Ali said with a laugh. “Calm down a little bit. You start rambling when you get nervous.” Crystal just glared at her. “I’m going to be okay. There is no reason to worry about me. You’ve seen me push through everything before, this isn’t going to hold me back any more than any of those things. This isn’t my first experience of being stuck in a hospital bed just waiting to rush out. I am going to fight this, no question. You just get to be by my side to support me and keep scoring some goals with the gals for me.”

This moment was really good for not only Crystal and helping her with her comfort and knowing that she was still talking to her friend and not just a sick girl, but also for Ali and her confidence in what was next to come.

///

“So, how does it feel?” Ashlyn asked as the two of them walked down the hallway together.

“So good. These moments are the times that I miss playing soccer the most.”

“Well, you are in no state to play soccer at the moment and won’t be for a while.”

“I know. The recovery processes are always the hardest. I think I will go insane if I don’t get to keep moving around and staying healthy.”

“Just make sure you’re not pushing yourself. I know you don’t want to go backwards too much, but if you overwork yourself it could just be even worse.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Ali felt a twinge in her head and immediately gripped Ashlyn’s hand a little tighter. The blonde quickly looked over at Ali with a nervous looked.

“Do you need to sit down?”

“No. I’m fine. I just got a small headache.”

“Alex. What did I just tell you? I really don’t want you pushing yourself. You just had your surgery two days ago.”

Ashlyn gripped Ali’s hand firmly in hers and pulled her over to a bench in the hallway. Ali felt a rush of tears about to come on. She hated this.

“This isn’t a joke. I know this is hard since you’re usually so active, but you have to take it easy. Your body needs time to repair all of what is going on inside that beautiful body of yours.”

Ali looked over at Ashlyn for a second and smiled, but quickly went back to staring at her feet. She needed to process everything. Form her words and make all of her thoughts actually make sense.

“I just don’t know how I’m going to do this. With my broken leg and my embolisms, it was hard for me to get around so it made it easy to accept that I wasn’t going to be able to do a lot of what I usually could. Same thing with my ACL. There was a noticeable difference in my ability to move around and lots of pain too. With this though, I don’t really notice it. I don’t feel any different than how I usually feel besides the occasional headache. That’s what makes this all so hard. I haven’t fully accepted the fact that I can’t live life like I used to because I am sick. I do, or did have a tumor in my brain. That’s not just a small thing that is going to heal quickly. I know I need to rest, but I need to take some time to really wrap my head around this whole situation.”

Ashlyn sat there with her hand on Ali’s leg. She didn’t really know how to respond. She had never had to go through something like this. She’d been injured often sure, but like Ali had just said, it’s much easier to deal with it when you physically feel what’s happening. The blonde leaned over and hugged her girlfriend. That was the only thing she knew how to do to comfort her.

///

Ali took a deep breath of fresh air. It was the first time she had been outside in over a week. Her body was finally working itself back up to strength after the surgery, but the only thing the doctors seemed to have on their mind was the radiation treatments that Ali was going to start soon. As the brunette sat there taking in her surroundings, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey Ali!” Pinoe practically yelled.

Ali flinched at the noise. “Hey Pinoe. Nice to see you too.” She said sarcastically.

“Oh uh sorry. Did I scare you?”

“No, not at all. You just put your hand on my shoulder where I can’t see you then proceed to yell in my ear. You didn’t scare me one bit.”

Pinoe laughed lightly. “Whoops.”

“So. How are you feeling?”

The defender had heard that question so many times in the last few weeks that it became part of her daily, more like hourly routine.

“Fine. But I’m sick of talking about me. That is literally all I’ve done for the past 2 weeks. How have you been?”

“Really good. It’s been nice to have a little bit of a break, but after missing so much soccer already this year, I’m ready to get back.”

“Those tournaments really take a lot of you. How much sleep do you think we got through the whole week after we got back from Rio?”

“It depends. Do you mean actual sleep in your bed at night or just all together?”

“In your bed.”

“Okay well that takes out about 90% of the sleep I got that week. I’d say maybe 9 hours.”

Both of them sat there laughing together. She was glad that they were still able to have good conversation. Everything had been centered in on her and only her for a while. She wanted to really talk to her friends like she normally did, not listen to herself answer questions about what was all happening.

“How are you and Sera doing?”

“Never better. We’re really getting down to odds and ends of wedding planning. It has been quite the experience. Neither of us want it to be super extravagant, but there is still sooo much to plan. I am ready to just get it over with and finally be able to call her my wife.”

“How long until the wedding?”

“There’s still a few months, but it’s starting to seem like Sera thinks it’s tomorrow.”

“Well of course she is. You don’t want to be working out all the details up until the days before. That time is going to go by a lot faster than you think it will.”

“Ugh. I’m done planning all of the small little details. Can you do it all for us?”

“To be honest, I’d love to help. I’ve got plenty of time on my hands.”

As Ali said this she couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed that she had this much empty time. She had always been on the move for so many years and it was a little weird to be staying in one place for such a long time.

“You would actually be our lifesaver if you did that!”

“I’d be glad to.”

Ali couldn’t help but imagine her and Ashlyn standing together with their friends and family watching. She could imagine her father walking her down the aisle. Kyle standing up next to Ashlyn with tears flowing down his face. The whole thing, down to every last detail, she could see perfectly in her head. Little did she know that all of it might become a reality much sooner than she thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys. It's been over two months since I posted last, but those two months have been jam packed with too many things to count, including being locked out of access to the document that I had the story typed on. I will definitely try to post frequently as you guys have been deprived for quite some time. I wrote this whole chapter in the last three days but I had to catch myself back up in the process. I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out so, ENJOY!!

"Okay Ali, your doctor's and I have decided that you are free to go home. You still have to come back daily during the week for your radiation treatments which we will start on Monday, but you won't have to stay here any longer."

Ali's face lit up with excitement and Dr. Fletcher's words had been blocked out before he was even done talking. The brunette couldn't believe she was finally able to go home, sleep in her own bed, feel truly comfortable for the first time in almost a month. Ashlyn looked at her with the widest smile on her face and they hugged immediately. Neither of them could believe that this time was finally here.

"Thank you Dr. Fletcher. I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me."

"You're very welcome Ali. It has been a pleasure, but this is just the beginning. I look forward to seeing you back here again in a few days."

"I look forward to seeing you again, but not necessarily here." Ashlyn said with a laugh.

///

A nurse pushed Ali's wheelchair out of the hospital until they were made it to the doors. A few teammates were following behind her like an entourage carrying all the things that Ashlyn and Ali had brought to the hospital during their stay. Most of the gals had to be with their NWSL teams as they finished up the season, but a couple of them were down in Orlando for the weekend.

"Okay Ali, you're free to go. We'll see you soon."

All of the girls cheered in excitement, so happy that Ali was finally able to go home.

"Thank you so much." Ali said with a smile.

Ashlyn leaned over to grab Ali's hand and helped her out of the wheelchair. She took a deep relief breath knowing that she was free. Ali and Ash walked to the car together slowly, while the rest of the gals went to their car and packed all the stuff in the trunk. They were off to home.

///

Ali reached the door to their house with a beaming smile on her face. She opened the door and took a deep breath, smelling the familiar scent of her house. She never thought she could love a smell so much.

Once the brunette reached the stairs of the house, a look of fear spread across her face. She hadn't had to climb stairs since she had fainted almost a month ago. The hospital was filled with elevators, that she knew she needed to use even through her fear, and she got wheeled around to many of the places she had to go anyway. She was afraid she wouldn't have enough physical strength to climb up the stairs of their house. Never in a million years did she think something so simple as climbing stairs could intimidate her so much.

Ashlyn had a confused look on her face after Ali stopped, but she quickly realized what was going through Ali's mind. She leaned forward to encourage her on, but stopped just before saying anything as she saw a tear fall down Ali’s cheek.

"Oh Alex, let's sit down. Just take a second. I know this is a lot to take in, but I just want you to breath. We can try it when you're ready."

A second later, Kelley, Syd, and Pinoe walk through the door ready to get Ali settled back in, but stop immediately in their footsteps once they see Ali. They drop everything where they are and rush to her side.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Kelley bursts out saying.

"I'm fine," Everyone let out a breath of air. "I just realized how hard this is all going to be. I all just hit me at once because who would ever think that the star soccer player that just won a world championship would ever be afraid to walk up a simple flight of stairs because they are so weak." Ali let out a chuckle at her own struggles, but nobody else laughed with her. None of them liked how much this was affecting Ali. It was so difficult to watch somebody they loved so much struggle so deeply. Ali looked over at everyone to see that she was not the only one crying. Everyone else has a face wet with tears too.

After a deep breath in attempt to relax herself, Ashlyn spoke up. “I know this scares you, it scares all of us. We hate this. But you are going to need to continue to work, through the pain, through the fatigue, through the fear. This is just one of many things that is going to stand in your way through this battle. I want you to try to do this. If it is too hard, we can make it work. We will work with anything that we are given.

Ali stood up slowly, but confidently with everyone surrounding her ready to support her. She lifted her leg up and pulled herself up the first step, then the next. She stopped for a second.

"It's okay Alex, take your time." Ashlyn said encouragingly.

"No, no. I'm fine. Just thinking." She laughed. "I don't know why I was so scared to do this. I'm fine. I'm just fine."

"Are you sure?" I told you not to push yourself too hard. If you need to take a break feel free."

"I promise. I'm fine."

"Okay, I trust you. Let's do this again."

Ali continued on her trek up the stairs, one step at a time. She had about five steps left when suddenly she felt a twinge in her head and felt herself starting to lose her balance. Ashlyn tried to stop her from falling as best as she could, but her strength was not enough. The pregnant Syd wasn't much of a help, but thankfully Pinoe and Kelley were right behind to catch her. Ashlyn's heart skipped a beat as she watched the love of her life fall backwards. Kell and Pinoe let her down easy, feeling very relieved that they had been there to catch her. Had they not, who knows what would have happened to her.

///

It had been a long stressful day for everyone since getting home from the hospital. Trying to figure out what Ali was capable and incapable of doing had been a majority of what the day had involved. After the scare on the stairs, she was much more hesitant to do anything, but with the help of her teammates she was able to make it all the way up and down the stairs and take a bath.

Everyone decided they just wanted to relax for the rest of the night, so the five of them sat down in the living room to watch a movie. With much bickering between them, they more like Ali, decided on The Lucky One, since she got the final say.

Less than 30 minutes into the movie, the brunette was laying on Ashlyn, asleep. She couldn't help but admire the sleeping girl. All she could think about is when she would be able to find the right time to ask her to marry her, but she had a feeling that wouldn't be any time soon, it just didn't feel right while Ali was still sick.

///

Ali woke up in the morning in her own bed lying next to her beautiful girlfriend feeling like there were no issues in the world, but as soon as she stepped out of bed she felt a wave of dizziness and a pounding headache overcome her. She quickly moved to the wall and slid down it, sitting down. She didn't want to wake anyone up so she quietly brushed her teeth in the bathroom and attempted to make her way down the stairs. As soon she reached the stairs, she looked down them and once again she was overcome with fear. She knew that she didn't have her friends there to help her down, only the railing which she knew would not be enough. She made the decision to slide down the stairs, quietly laughing at herself in the process, and feeling like a 5 year old.

Once she made it downstairs, she started up the coffee machine knowing she was going to need as much energy as she could get for the day. Today was her last day before she started radiation which also meant the last day before the fatigue and many more symptoms kicked in.

She walked out onto their porch and sat down in the chair looking out onto the road in front of her. She couldn't help but think that she was going to be stuck in her house just like she had been stuck in the hospital and it scared the hell out of her. Being active was such a large part of her life and she wanted to continue that, but who knew whether the radiation was going to allow that to be possible or not.

Ali heard a slight knock on the door to turn around and see Syd hobbling out to her. The defender was glad to see someone who could relate to her at least a little since Syd was very pregnant and was not able to move around very easily, nor did she have a lot of energy.

“How does it feel to be back home?” Syd asked once she took her seat outside.

“It feels really great. Frustrating, but great. But seriously, I’m so done with talking about me. How's your ankle feeling?”

“Really? That’s the first thing you think of? You don’t think that I'm sick of talking about me too?”

“Syd? Sick of talking about herself? When does that happen?”

“True, very true. I'm feeling good, big but good. Ready to get him out so I can play again.”

“Believe me, I understand completely. I have no idea at all when I'm going to be able to play again and it scares me.”

“Don’t worry about it. That’s what your friends are for. We get to worry while you keep fighting.”

“There are so many things that could go wrong and I don't know how well my body is going to be able to take all of it.”

“You’re strong. One of the strongest women I know. We will help you through every little thing that happens.”

Ali laughed to herself a little.

Syd put a very confused look on her face. “What are you laughing about?”

“Oh nothing, nothing.”

“Come on. Just tell me?”

“Fine. Will you help me with the hair loss?”

Syd’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. I didn’t even think about that. Wait. Hold on. You're asking me? Of course I will. I feel so honored.”

They both started laughing together, but soon after, Ali was the only one left laughing. She stopped herself and felt frozen once she saw that Sydney’s emotions had turned completely upside down. Ali just leaned over and hugged her friend for comfort.

“Syd, let’s talk. What just happened?”

“Once you brought up the hair loss, I just started thinking of all the other things that you’re going to have to go through and it scares me. I just don’t understand why this is happening to you.”

“It scares you? How do you think I feel? I’m the one that has to go through all of it.” Ali tried to put some humor into the situation to change around the emotions, but it had just the opposite effect.

“Who am I kidding?” The tears streamed out. “Why am I freaking out? Why aren’t you freaking out? They just cut open your skull and your brain and took a cancer out of it. Now they are going to shoot radiation into the place that they took the cancer out, but what if they didn’t get it all and it grows back. What if something goes wrong and you can ever play soccer again? I don’t know what I would, we would do without you on the team.”

Her rambling took all of the breath out of her and she turned into a puddle of tears as the two of them sat on the porch together.

All of what Sydney said got Ali thinking, but she knew she had to block out all those thoughts. She had done this kind of things too many times before and she knew the drill for having the fastest recovery, none of those thoughts are involved. You just have to keep your head forward and keep pushing ahead.

///

“I saw that you and Syd were sitting on the porch this morning. Syd didn’t seem to look so good.” Ashlyn said worriedly.

“She was just expressing a lot of emotions about all of what is going on. We were just talking and laughing and suddenly she was crying and rambling on about everything.”

“Hey! You were joking around about losing some of your hair, what am I supposed to do? Laugh with you?” Syd yelled from the other room.

“Yes! You shouldn’t be crying about ME losing MY hair!”

“Okay then… So, is there anything you want to do today? You probably won’t-”

Ali interrupted her, not wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. “Actually yes. I want to finish our date. I kind of ruined it with my fainting and loss of consciousness.”

“Oh come on. You did ruin it.”

“Of course I did and you know that. You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

Ashlyn’s face suddenly turned guilty. “Fine. You may have ruined it a little, but there wasn’t much more that I had planned for the night.”

“Ashlyn. I can tell you’re lying. I know you too well and have learned all your little quirks such as the fact that you always start to rub your tattoos when you lie.”

“I honestly don’t even know why I tried. You always catch me anyway. But, that sounds like a great plan. A date it is. Be ready at 7 o’clock sharp, dressed in your best.”

Kelley, Syd, and Pinoe all call out from the living room, “I want to help!”

“I’ll take Ashlyn, you two get Ali.” Megan exclaimed as she jumped out of her seat, tripping over Sydney’s feet in the process.

Everyone fell into a fit of laughter as Megan laid on the floor. Hopefully this was not the last of the laughs for a long while.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to be writing again! I start school this week so I may not be able to update as often especially since I will have soccer going on too. Thanks for your patience especially this summer. Hope you enjoy!

“I said 7 o’clock sharp Alex!” Ashlyn yelled from their living room.

“We’re almost ready!” The three of them called back.

Ashlyn gave Megan an eye roll knowing that this was the typical routine every time they went out.

“You would think it wouldn’t take this long since she has two people helping her.” Pinoe said with a slight chuckle.

“Not with Ali, I don’t think there has ever been a time where she has been ready on time.”

“Kelley and Syd are helping her though so at least she doesn’t have to do everything.”

“Honestly the two of them are probably going to make it take longer. There’s possibility for disagreements when there’s more than one person.”

Suddenly, many footsteps were heard coming down the stairs as Kelley helped Ali walk down them and Syd slowly came down behind them.

The room seemed to light up as Ali made her way down the stairs.

“Once again, the wondrous Ali is not ready on time, but once again the perfect Ashlyn has planned for it.”

“Wow, somebody is full of herself.”

“I have to be when I’m always overshadowed by you.”

Ashlyn leaned in to kiss her beautiful girlfriend, possibly the last time before they were engaged.

///

“Did you really feel the need to go back to the same restaurant? We’re already paying for so many of my medical bills and it’s so expensive. I said I wanted to finish our date not restart it.”

“I can’t just start a date directly from where we finished off! It has to be perfect. Besides, you’ve gone through a lot in the last month. I want you to feel as special as you are to me.”

“This is what I wanted though. I just want to relax on the beach with you. We haven’t gotten much time to just relax together.”

“Well, you’re still getting to do that now so stop complaining.”

Ali became quiet as they continued walking down the beach. She knew that her energy was going to be even more limited than it currently was starting tomorrow so she just wanted to take everything in.

“What are you thinking about?” Ashlyn asked, trying to distract herself from her nerves.

“My treatment, life, everything.”

“Let’s not think about that kind of stuff. Tonight's a night to let all of that stuff go.”

“I know, I know. It’s just looming really close over my head.”

Ashlyn was trying to think of something else to talk about, but Ali was right. The cancer had been their life for the few weeks and there wasn’t much else that had happened for them to talk about. Ali was the first one to speak up though.

“I know you just said you don’t want to talk about this, but how have you been doing with everything? We keep talking about me, but nobody has been too worried about you.”

Ashlyn was a little shocked. She hadn’t even thought about this. She was worrying constantly about Ali that she had no time to think about herself.

“To be honest, it’s been really hard. You see so many other people go through this and it always seems tough, but when you’re the one going through it, it is an entirely different situation. Unspeakable. I’m just so exhausted from all of it that I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Ali just continued to walk, ingesting what Ashlyn had said.

“Thank you for telling me. I know all of this has been so hard on you. I’ve been making huge, enormous decisions without even consulting you and I’m sorry about that. I want to have you more involved in everything. You at least deserve that. I know you are truly supporting me through everything, but you may not have the same view and I don’t want to make this any harder for you than it has to be.”

Ashlyn squeezed her hand to acknowledge all of what she had just said. She couldn’t do much more as she was so emotional. She had held everything in up until now and it felt so good for her to let it all out.

Ali stopped them in their place, turned around and hugged Ashlyn. She knew it was time for her to be the shoulder to cry on since Ashlyn had been there for her for so long.

///

The two of the had been walking on the beach for a little while when Ashlyn had pushed away all of her nerves and finally calmed herself enough to do something she had been waiting to do for a long time.

Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s hands to get her to stop. She took a deep breath and turned to face Ali, taking both of her hands in her own.

“Alexandra Blaire Krieger. This has been a long time coming, but I finally feel that we are at the right time and both of us are ready.” As Ashlyn continued to speak, Ali’s eyes welled up with tears and a smile formed on her face. “You have been so amazing to me for so many years. Your smile is the first thing I want to see every morning. Your eyes light up every moment of my day. The way your nose crinkles when you laugh is one of my favorite parts about you. Your strength, your passion, you will to keep on pushing even when you really don’t want to. I don’t know how I could live life without every single little piece of you. Alex,” Ashlyn took a knee in the sand, reaching to her pocket to grab the ring. “Will you marry me?”

Before the words were even out of Ashlyn’s mouth, Ali was yelling out her answer, yes, as the tears fell down her face. Ashlyn took the ring out of the box and slid it on Ali’s finger. She jumped up and hugged Ali, lifting her up and spinning her around. The two of them kissed each other endlessly. It felt as though they were in a dream.

///

“What’s for breakfast?” Pinoe said loudly as she practically ran down the stairs.

“I thought you were leaving this morning?”

“Eh, I got time.”

“Well in that case, we’re having waffles, eggs, and sausage.”

“Sounds delicious!”

Ashlyn was cooking as the laughing and talking continued. Sydney and Kelley made their way downstairs and into the kitchen.

“So, how was your date last night?”

“Perfect.” Ali said with a bright smile. “I’m really glad we got to finish it.”

“What did you guys do?”

“We went to dinner at my favorite restaurant then we just went to the beach and talked. We would’ve gone to the carnival like we did last time, but there isn’t much I can do there and I didn’t have much energy to walk around the whole place anyway.”

“If only Dom would treat me to a nice date like that.” Syd said, looking as though she was dreaming of it.

“At least you guys all have someone. I’m still single!”

“Awww. Poor Kelley. At least you’ve got us.”

They all laughed as Kelley rolled her eyes and groaned.

“Breakfast is served!” Ashlyn said as she placed the last part of the meal on the table. Megan was the first one to reach for food as she dove in. Everyone else followed behind soon after.

As Ali reached to grab a waffle, Syd’s eyes widened.

“Hold on. Is there a part to your date last night that you aren’t telling me?” Syd practically yelled out.

Everyone stopped eating and Syd grabbed Ali’s hand.

“You better speak up or else!”

Ali and Ashlyn just smiled widely.

“We decided we wanted to wait until you guys noticed just for fun. We were looking for a good reaction especially.”

Megan hadn’t really been paying attention to what was going on around her and was quite noticeably very confused.

“Wait what’s happening?” Pinoe exclaimed, her mouth filled with food.

“Look at Ali’s hand.” Kelley said sharply.

Immediately, Pinoe’s jaw dropped open.

“Give us every single last little detail. I don’t care if it means I have to miss my flight.”

They were all glaring at her waiting for her to spill. It felt as though their eyes were burning holes through her skin.

“Okay. Wow. We were just down the beach together when Ash turned me around and had me face her. She started talking about all the things she loved about me and how she couldn’t live without me.”

Pinoe interrupted Ali at those words. “Really Ashlyn? You couldn’t have thought of anything better?”

“Hey, I was nervous. I’m just glad I didn’t fumble over my words or pee my pants.”

“Besides, it was really sweet. It was the perfect thing to listen to after a perfect night.”

Ali leaned over and kissed Ashlyn even through all the groans of her teammates.

“So, as I was saying before Ashlyn rudely interrupted, once Ashlyn finished saying all the kind things about me,” Ashlyn smiled. “She got down on her knee and asked if I would marry her. By that time, I was a puddle of tear but still managed to yell out yes.”

“Finally!” Megan yelled out. “I’ve been waiting for you to do this for months!”

“Give me a break. Ali is not easy to please. What did you expect me to do? Have it ready on the field with me after we won the World Cup?”

“Oh my god, yes! That would have been so perfect!”

“I already told you I didn’t want to do it during the tournament.”

“Well technically that was after the tournament was over since the game was done.”

Ashlyn gave Pinoe a look that told her she just needed to shut up now.

“I wanted to do it more privately and away from all of the madness of soccer. This was the best way I could think of to do it.”

“And it was absolutely perfect.”

///

“Why did you bring so much stuff Syd? You were only going to be her for a weekend. Plus, you can’t carry any of it so you were just going to depend on all of us to carry your three bags for you. You would think after traveling so much you would have perfect the art of packing, meaning not over packing.” Ashlyn said.

“Do you really expect any less of me? Also, what if I had decided to stay longer to help you guys?”

“You couldn’t for one since you have your check up with your doctor once you get home today and you are about to burst. And two, no offense, but we probably wouldn't want you to stay since you can’t really help around the house or much of anything for that matter and we have to take care of you practically. You knew you weren’t staying longer in the first place.”

Kelley and Ali were sitting on the porch waiting for Ashlyn to finish with Syd’s stuff.

“I’m going to miss having you with the team. It won’t be a true victory tour without you guys.” Kelley said as tears filled her eyes.

“Look on the bright side Kell. At least you’ll get to take my spot on the field.”

“Oh come on. Don’t joke about that. Now I’m going to feel guilty every time I step on the field.”

“Sorry, sorry. Ash and I will try to come to as many games as we can, but it really depends on how well I am feeling and whether my doctors allow it or not. It’s a lot of travelling for anyone, but especially in this state.”

“There is the game in Orlando next month so you can definitely go to that. Maybe Jill will even make an exception and put Ash on the roster for that game.”

“I hope so. I gave her the option to continue to play with the team, but she doesn’t want to. I’m still trying to convince her to have us go back up to DC because that’s where I would be more comfortable. She’s being really stubborn about it and saying that we shouldn’t leave the doctors here, but I already talked to them and they said it was fine for us to go there.”

“Ash is Ash. Stubborn as always.”

///

“Ashlyn please. I really don’t want to take you away from your training, but I want to go home. I’m sure the Spirit would let you train with them since you are taking time off from playing with the Spirit. Dr. Fletcher already said that it was perfectly fine for me to continue my treatments in DC. Besides, it will much easier for me to stay healthy and fit there too since I would have trainers who know me there.”

“But we are already starting your radiation treatments within the hour. What if you’re not feeling well enough to just pick up and move back to DC.”

“Ashlyn. I won’t be feeling the effects of the radiation for a few days and what do you mean just pick up and move? We have ninety percent of my stuff there already. I would be closer to my parents, more of our friends. Please.”

“Fine. I give in!”

“Thank you, thank you thank you! I love you so much right now!” Ali leaned over and hugged Ashlyn.

“Okay, you are about to make me crash right now.”

“Oh, whoops.” Ali said with a light laugh.

“You realize I’m only agreeing to this because you’re you and I love you so much.”

“Well I love you more.”

///

“Okay Ali. We are going to lock this mask in place so you won’t be able to move your head until this is done. This whole process should take around 25 or 30 minutes each day, but the treatment itself should take only a few minutes. Do you have any questions?”

“Is there anything I should start doing different after the treatments?”

“Your appetite may change so you may want to eat more small meals everyday than a few big ones. Be careful when washing the area where we are going to be shooting the radiation beams. You will likely get very tired easily and you will lose some hair but it won’t be your full head. Anything else?”

“No. I think I’m good.”

“Okay. Are you ready?”

Ali hesitated. “Uh, yeah, I’m ready.”

“Okay. I will just be in the room right next door if you need anything.”

///

“How do you feel?” Ashlyn asked.

“I feel okay. Just a little tired, but nothing too unusual.”

“That’s good, but we definitely have to watch it in the next few days.”

“So are you ready to get packing?”

“Dang. I thought you had forgotten about that.”

“Oh come on Ashlyn. What’s so bad about going back to DC?”

“Nothing. I just don’t like the idea of leaving your doctors.”

“I already said they were okay with it and you know that. There’s got to be something else bugging you.”

“I kind of like staying here and just getting to relax for a little.”

“We’ve been doing that for almost two months thanks to me. I want to be active again.”

“I know, I know. I’m ready too. We have a lot to do in the next few days and we will have to call your doctors and let them know, or just tell them tomorrow. We definitely need to let the Spirit staff know that we are coming so we don’t just suddenly pop in at practice. We have to schedule flights and get everything packed. Empty out all of the perishables from our kitchen and pack up some things before we leave since we will be leaving for a while.”

“Wow. Since when did Ashlyn become so organized.”

“Well, this definitely isn’t my first rodeo.”

“To DC we go!” Ali shouted out with a smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to post! I have been super busy with soccer and school but once my season is over in a few weeks I will write more often. I really enjoy writing this so any comments are appreciated. I posted this chapter once before, but nobody seemed to look at it so I am reposting it in hopes of getting more people to look at it. Hope you enjoy!!  
> ///  
> Just as an FYI, midway through writing this, I had it in my head that this was after the World Cup, but I realized that I set it after the Olympics instead so I changed a few small things like Syd being pregnant instead of injured. I doubt any of you really noticed unless you were paying super close attention to details, but just to relieve any confusion if there was any.

‘Flight 879 to Washington-Dulles Airport boarding Zone 1’

“Finally. You ready Ashlyn?”

“Ready whenever you are.”

They both boarded the flight and quickly found their seats getting settled. They had flown so many times for soccer they each had their own routine.

“Are you sure this isn’t going to be too hard on your head?”

“Yes. The doctors said I would be fine. We are only flying for two hours. I will be okay. I know you’re worried about me, but I promise if anything is bothering me, I will let you know.”

Ashlyn slowly turned away from her, still with a very nervous look on her face. She couldn’t help but worry. This was her fiancée they were talking about. She was still hesitant about this whole decision of going back to DC. In her head, she kept imagining that the hospital that they had been transferred to would be horrible and they would both hate it there. She didn’t know the doctor so maybe they wouldn’t like them either. Who had any idea of what it was going to be like.

The seat buckle light went on over their heads as Ashlyn felt the plane speeding up down the runway. She just looked out the window staring at the passing planes and trees distracting herself from the thoughts flooding her head.

///

“Hey, Alex. Wake up. We’re about to land.” Ashlyn said quietly.

Ali just grumbled as she groggily lifted her head off of Ashlyn’s shoulder. She had been asleep for the entire flight.

“Are you feeling okay?” Ash asked, knowing that the pressure could easily affect the brunette’s head.

“Yes. I’m just fine. Great actually. The nap felt really good and I’m glad to be home.” She said with a smile.

All the keeper could think is how much she wished that she could have been doing the same thing. She had horrible thoughts filling her head the entire time flight making her more anxious than she had been previously. She had barely gotten any sleep in the last few nights as she worried about her fiancé.

“I think that I should be asking you if you are okay actually.”

“Why would I not be okay?”

“Oh come on Ashlyn. Have you seen yourself?” The blonde slowly lowered her head in embarrassment. She should have known that Ali would be able to tell. “You look like a mess. You just seem so off. I don’t understand why coming back to D.C. makes you this nervous.”

To be honest, Ashlyn didn’t really know either. She just had a bad feeling about all of this that she couldn’t really put her finger on. Of course she loved D.C. and wanted to be with the team, but she just didn’t know if they were making the right decision.

“Ashlyn, please talk to me. I want to know what’s going on. You’ve had to be there for me for so long, now it’s my turn to be there for you.”

Ashlyn tried to form her words. Tried to explain what she was feeling, but nothing was coming out.

“Ashlyn. Please.” Tears we’re starting to form in both of their eyes as the people around them filed out of the plane. They both knew that they were going to be forced to leave the plane soon, but this conversation was nowhere near done.

///

As the two of the walked through the airport, there was only silence between them. Ashlyn could tell that Ali was trying to get a few words in as they walked, but she quickly recoiled on her thoughts once she realized that it wasn’t going to work. Ashlyn wasn’t going to budge, at least for now.

The brunette’s thoughts were wandering as she trudged around the airport. She didn’t completely understand what had just happened, but she did know that she had to fix it, and fast.

///

Ali and Ashlyn had made it to their house and were getting settled into their room. Ashlyn attempted to push Ali away and not allow them to communicate, but Ali couldn’t take it anymore. She was still so lost and she needed to figure all of this out.

“Ashlyn. I know you don’t want to do this. You have made that quite clear to me. Whether or not you respond to anything that I am saying right now, I am still going to speak what I am feeling and hopefully once whatever is going on inside your head gets figured out, we can talk, together.”

Ashlyn turned the volume up on the TV and stared intently at it, trying to cover up Ali’s voice.

“I could tell from the start that you were not so sure about us coming back here. I am not going to question why, but I’m glad that you did, whether it was just for me or not. I think I have said it plenty of times but Dr. Fletcher said that I was going to be completely fine switching hospitals. They can easily transfer my treatment plans, I can continue my radiation, and the doctors here are very good. Whatever is bugging you about this, I would love to be able to help you out and try to ease your discomfort, but you are the one who has to decide whether that will happen or not. Just know that I am here whenever you are ready. I am going to need every little bit of you to make it through this is one piece. You have been my rock so far and I am not about to lose that. I love you.”

Ali sat there waiting for a second, deciding whether all of what she had said was everything that she had wanted to say. She wanted to leave everything on the table in attempt to comfort the blonde a little more. Whatever had been going through Ashlyn’s head through that plane ride had scared her and threw her out of whack. Ali was going to be there to help put all of the pieces back together.

///

As Ali was making dinner in the kitchen, Ashlyn was still sitting in the same spot as she had been before when Ali had talked to her. She was still watching the same show and showed no signs of movement. It was as though all of what the defender had said went in one ear and straight out the other. Ali was quite distraught about the whole situation. She was already starting her next radiation treatment tomorrow and she truly needed Ashlyn to be there to support her.

Suddenly, Ali felt a hand press against her side and her mind started reeling, a smile forming on her face. Ali just waited until she spoke, knowing that pushing Ashlyn into talking was going to help, she was going to do it when she was ready.

“So, I uh, I thought about what you said. I know I am overreacting about all of this. I know this is what you want. I just have this, I don’t know, off feeling that I can’t really put my finger on.” Ali listened intently wanting to soak in every single word that Ashlyn said. “If I knew what was bugging me, believe me I would tell you. I need to be there for you and whatever is going on with me does not matter. I don’t know if either of us would make it through this if you weren’t so strong. How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing girl?”

The smile on Ali’s face widened causing her nose to crinkle. There was something about that smile that just seemed to bring Ashlyn out of her funk even more.

“I could say the same thing to you. There is no way I would be strong enough to fight all of this without you. I’m glad you’re opening up.”

“We need each other. For everything. Exactly why I am so ready to be your wife.”

Ali just laughed. She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed in the last few months. After winning in Rio, the diagnosis, the treatment, the proposal. Every one of those things she knew would be for the better.

///

As Ali and Ashlyn sat at the dinner table together, a strong knock was heard on the door. The two of them just looked at each other and laughed knowing that knock anywhere.

“Don’t answer it just yet. I want to see how she reacts.” Ali said quietly, trying to conceal her giggles.

They waited a minute or so before a voice was heard yelling at them from outside.

“Oh come on guys. I just want to see you. Why you gotta be like this?”

They burst out laughing as Ash stood up from the table and walked over to the door, opening it slowly. Ashlyn couldn’t help but laugh even harder as she saw the look on Crystal’s face. Such an innocent glare. A second later that innocent glare was wiped off as she barged through the door practically running to Ali and giving her a giving her a hug.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. One, we didn’t even invite you in, and two, where’s my hug?”

Crystal smiled lightly then walked over to Ashlyn giving her a tight hug.

“There we go. That’s what I was looking for.” Ashlyn said smiling.

“So glad you’re back home!”

“I am too, but what are you doing here?” Ali said laughing.

“I just wanted to see you guys. Is that so bad?”

“Okay, but what is in your hand?” Ashlyn questioned.

“Oh. Yeah. I forgot about that. Got a little excited. I have something for Ali.” Crystal said handing the bag to the brunette.

Ali was quite confused, not knowing why she was being given anything, but opened it anyway. She pulled out the tissue paper and her hand landed on something soft. She pulled it out realizing that it was a blanket. She opened it up and saw that it was covered in pictures of Ali with Ashlyn and her friends.

“I know how tired you’ve been with all of your treatments so I thought you would like it for naps or something.”

“I love it, it’s perfect. Thank you Crystal.”

Ali knew that this blanket was going to get a lot of use. The radiation was wearing her out and she knew that she was going to be home alone a lot more often now that Ashlyn was going to be training again. It made her sad knowing that she was going to be missing out on so much because of it. Though she was hoping to be there with the Spirit for some practices and the games, it was hard for her to look forward to because she had no idea whether she would have enough energy to do it. She still could not believe that this was their new normal. It was something that was going to take a while for her to get used to.

///

Ali and Ashlyn woke up early to an alarm the next morning. Ashlyn groaned quietly as Ali laid in bed, eyes wide, brain filled with thought. She was doing her first radiation treatment at the new hospital. She was lucky to even be given yesterday off as they were trying to be aggressive with the treatment, but through much convincing, she was able to talk Dr. Fletcher into allowing her to take the day off.

Today though, she was going to be getting her treatment, meeting all of her new doctors, and a feel for the new hospital. On top of that, it was going to be a long day as they had to wake up early for the appointment knowing that they were going to be driving through D.C. traffic, one of the worst of them all.

Everything that was going to be happening today was finally hitting Ali and it was really making her nervous. She had no idea what to expect and now understood where Ashlyn was coming from in the first place. Maybe this hadn’t been the right decision.

“Hey Alex, what’s up? Are you feeling okay?” Ashlyn asked worriedly after noticing that Ali hadn’t moved an inch since the alarm went off. Not a common thing for her.

“Uh yeah. I’m fine, just a little tired.” Ali said quietly, trying to act as though everything was okay, but her acting was nowhere near close enough to fooling Ashlyn.

“Ali, what’s bugging you? You’re more than just tired.”

Ali groaned. “Why do you have to know me so well.” She didn’t know why she had even tried to hide it.

“That’s what I’m here for. I have to know you better than anyone and I do. That’s why I love you.” Ashlyn said, pecking Ali on the cheek. “So spill.”

Ashlyn watched as tears started to well up in Ali’s eyes. This kind of thing had become a common sight in their household. Ashlyn quickly hugged Ali tightly. Ali leaned her head onto Ashlyn’s shoulder, letting all the tears and emotions flow out of her.

“Maybe,” Ali sniffled, “Maybe you’re right.”

“Right about what?”

“Everything. Maybe we should have stayed in Orlando. That’s where your family is –”

Ashlyn stopped her right then and there. “Nope. We are not doing this. I know you made the right decision. This is where you have friends. This is where your parents are. You are closer to Kyle. Your team is here. This was your idea and I know that this makes you nervous. It is a different environment than you’re used to. There have been a lot of changes in our life since we were here last, but that is just fine. We are going to have to adjust and I am ready to be here for you.”

“Thank you.” Ali said, now completely in control of her emotions and ready to take on the day. “I needed that.”

The brunette just laughed thinking about how different life was compared to even just a few months ago. Now having this tumor, Ali was starting to look at life in a different way. She knew that she had to take in everyday because something could come up and there was no telling what state she would be in the next day or even in a few hours.


	11. Chapter 11

Ali and Ashlyn walked to the car after they had their breakfast and got ready for the day. It was time for Ali’s first radiation treatment and she didn’t know what to expect. It can affect everyone differently and there was no saying when or how hard the radiation would hit her. They were planning on going to the Spirit training after her treatment was done, so they could only hope that she was feeling good.

“So do you know where and how this is all going to work?” Ashlyn asked.

“I have absolutely no idea. We still have yet to meet any of my doctors so this should be interesting. I guess we will just follow signs if there are any and hope for the best.”

“Well, here goes nothing.” Ashlyn yelled out as she sped up down the highway.

The rest of the ride was silent. It was quite obvious that they were both thinking about what was yet to come. There was going to be a lot of new things introduced to them between the hospital, treatment, home, everything. So many more days of radiation, and who knows what else that Ali still had to fight through. This was their new normal.

///

“Hi, I’m Alexandra Krieger and I have an appointment at 10 with Dr. Carter.”

“Ah, yes. She will be right out for you. Just take a seat in the waiting room.”

Ali and Ashlyn sat down together and patiently waited. It seemed as though both of them wanted to speak, but nobody knew what to say. Ali finally decided that she had to speak up, and about something other than the looming treatment.

“So are you excited to train again?” Ali asked.

“Definitely, I’m going to be very out of shape though. I just wish you could be training with me.”

“Believe me so do I. At this point, I’m just glad I will be able to see everyone. I feel so bad that I can’t help them for playoffs, but I know that we will do just fine without me.”

“So, who do you think is going to be the most surprised to see us? The only people we told about us coming today is the coaches and not many people knew that we were moving here in the first place.”

“Well, Crystal would have been, but she already figured out. I would guess either Nairn or Kelsey.”

“Kelsey will definitely be surprised to see you. It’s been a while since you too trained together.”

“That’s for sure. I love being with the Pride and being home in Florida, but I definitely miss being with the Spirit.”

“I missed having you with us too. You better be prepared to be training really hard if you want Jill to call you up for any of the games.”

“Well, not really. I don’t want to join them. I need to be here with you.”

“Ashlyn… Come on. You should be playing. It’s what you love to do.”

“Well I love you more than soccer.”

Ali blushed, but quickly changed her emotions. She was giving Ash the look of disappointment.

“Okay, fine. I’ll think about it, but you know I would only be doing it for you.” Ashlyn gave in.

“Oh come on. You love playing. I love watching you play. It’s the victory tour and I know you want to be part of that. Just do it.”

“We’ll talk later. I think this is Dr. Carter.”

“Alexandra Krieger?” Called a young lady from a few feet away.

Ali and Ashlyn both stood up and walked over to the lady.

“Hi. I’m Dr. Carter. You must be Alexandra.”

“Yes, but please, call me Ali. This is my fiancé Ashlyn.”

“Nice to meet you both. I am Dr. Carter, but since we will be together often, feel free to call me Lauren.”

///

“So every day when you come, you will come to the room that we will be going to next. There will be a technician there to help you get set up. Each one should last about half an hour, but make sure to get here a little early so that we have time to get you ready. Any questions?”

“Is there anything we should be prepared for with symptoms?”

“There will be some hair loss soon and some fatigue which I’m sure is typical for you at this point. Appetite change is possible. There’s nothing too serious, but if there is anything that worries you, make sure you come in. It’s always best to be safe. Anything else?”

“No, I think we’re good.” Ashlyn said, looking at Ali worriedly.

“Okay. I will go get a technician to come get you ready.”

Dr. Carter walked out of the room and Ashlyn was immediately looking at Ali with those eyes.

“What? None of it is that bad. I’ve been fatigued since I was first diagnosed so that’s nothing new. The hair loss sucks, but I can deal with it and I’ve been watching my eating for so many years that I am used to that any way.”

“I know, I know. I just hate to see you go through any of this.”

///

“Hey Alex. How are you feeling?”

“Fine. I was able to relax well I was in there so it felt pretty good.”

“No symptoms yet?”

“Ash, I literally walked out of the room 2 seconds ago. I am not feeling anything yet.”

“How should I know? I don’t know how fast it takes effect.”

“I get that you’re watching out for me, but I am just fine.”

“Okay Ali, let’s go back into the room we started in.” Dr. Carter interrupted.

They all walked to the room together and sat down. Dr. Carter closed the door behind them.

“Okay, so we just need to finalize the plan with you. What we have set is 30 days of radiation, every week day so it will take 6 weeks. At the end of it all we will get an MRI just to check that the treatment is working and there is no for sure tumor left. After that, we will have to re-evaluate based on the results of the MRI. Every 2 weeks, you will check in with me just to make sure that everything is going well and we can still keep on track with the treatment. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to come to my office or call me. Right now though, any questions?”

“Nope. Just fine.”

“Okay, while I will see you tomorrow.”

Ashlyn and Ali walked out of the room together.

“Okay so training is at 1 and it is 11:30 right now. Are you up for going out to eat then going straight to training or do you want to go home to rest a little?”

“We can just go out to eat. It’s not worth it to drive all the way home anyway.”

///

“I am going to regret eating this much when I get to training. I already know it.”

Ali laughed lightly, but Ashlyn could tell that she either didn’t feel good or Ali didn’t find it that funny. It was not a good thing either way.

“Yeah. The food was really good.”

Just by those few words, Ashlyn could tell that Ali didn’t feel good.

“Alex, are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just fine. Are you ready to go?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know that was a lie. We are going home. I don’t need to go to training. That can wait for another day.”

Ali couldn’t help but be mad the Ashlyn knew her so well. She did feel a little off, but it was just a slight headache. That wasn’t going to stop her from going to see the Spirit.

“Ash, what did I just say? I’m fine. I just want to go see the girls. I miss them.”

“Me too, but we can wait. It’s not like they are all going to disappear tomorrow.”

“Ash, please. Let’s just go. I’m fine.”

“Fine. You better not be lying to me about this though.”

Ali couldn’t help but feel guilty. She hated lying to her like this, but she wasn’t going to let a stupid headache hold her back.

///

As they pulled up into the parking lot, the jitters of excitement filled Ali’s body as she waited to see her teammates. It had been 2 months since she had seen the team and it was a much needed energy booster. They made sure to get there early so that they would be able to surprise everyone.

As she walked towards the locker room, Jim, her coach, walked up to her and gave her a hug.

“So glad to see you both. How are you doing?”

“Good. As good as can be expected.”

“And Ash, are you glad to be training again?”

“Oh, you have no idea. I’m really excited.”

Hearing Ashlyn say that confirmed Ali’s choice for her. She knew that seeing Ashlyn playing soccer again was going to be worth it, even with if she wasn’t feeling great.

“Great. I’m glad this whole move worked out.” Jim said.

The two of them walked off to the locker room quickly, making sure that they weren’t seen by anybody.

A few minutes later, the door opened and in walked Crystal.

“Oh my god. You guys are here?”

“Why are you surprised? You are the only one who knew we were moving back up here. Did you not expect us to be coming to training?”

“Well, I expected it. Just not this soon. I mean you had your first radiation treatment today. I didn’t think you’d be up for it.”

“Oh come on. I’m not that weak. I wanted to be with you guys so badly.”

“True, true. Well I’m glad you’re here. Now I get to score on Ashlyn some more.”

Ashlyn just rolled her eyes and laughed.

Once again, the door opened and in walked Nairn. She stopped in her footsteps and gaped at the two of them.

“Am I actually seeing this?” She said after a minute. “Are you guys actually real?”

“Yes ma’am.” They both stood up, and surrounded her in hugs.

“When did you guys come back? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh my god, I’m just so glad to see you both.”

“We flew in yesterday and this is the exact reason why we didn’t say anything.”

“Well that was just mean.”

Every other girl had just about the same reaction. They were all really excited to see Ali and Ash and glad they were back.

///

As the coaches explained the drill, Cali, Laura, and Ali both sat on the sidelines talking.

“So, are you ready for your surgery? When is it again?” Ali asked Cali.

“Feeling good right now, but that will change after the surgery for sure. It’s on October 14th so I have exactly 2 weeks.”

“Do you have any questions? I, sadly, have experience.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. That was a while ago wasn’t it?”

“Only like 4 years.”

“Well that’s a while ago for me.”

“Well you’re only 23, but it’s not that long ago for me. Besides, it feels like yesterday.”

As the three girls continued to talk, Ali couldn’t help but stare at Ashlyn. It had always been mesmerizing to watch her play. Seeing the wide smile across her face as she trained and laughed with Kelsey and Steph made her smile too.

///

Ashlyn kept peeking glances at Ali making sure that she was doing okay. She was realizing that being with her teammates was just what the two of them needed.

“Hey, Ash, we’re starting the next drill.” Kelsey said, bringing Ash out of her thoughts.

“Oh sorry, I got a little distracted.”

“Come on. She’s fine. Just let her be. There’s plenty of other people around that are watching out for her.”

Ashlyn went on with training, trying her hardest to not focus on Ali, but instead focused on the drill. A few minutes later she heard Ali’s name said from further up the field, but brushed it off since she figured that Cali or Laura were just talking really loud. Seconds later, she decided she was going to look because she was going to be too much in her head about it if she didn’t. Suddenly, Ashlyn’s feet were moving, and fast. She was running towards Ali who was laying on the ground, ripping off her gloves in the process. The second she reached her, she dove to the ground and was trying to wake Ali up.

“What the hell happened?!” Ashlyn screamed.

Nothing. Nobody had an answer.

“Are you serious? Nobody saw what happened? She just fainted and nobody saw.” Ashlyn yelled once again.

“She uh, she was just talking to us, then, she just fainted. I don’t know. It all happened so quickly. Oh my god. Is she okay?”

There was tons of commotion around the two of them. The whole team had stopped training and 911 was called. All that Ashlyn could hear was Ali’s light breathing and her whispers.

“You have to be okay. I knew this was a bad idea. Why did I give in? I love you Ali. Please be okay. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

The tears started to fall down her face. Ashlyn couldn’t help but think back to the first time this happened. As she holds Ali in her lap, caressing her hair, she could only think that the doctors were wrong. Maybe the cancer was worse than they had originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you on such a cliff hanger, but I'm really excited for what's to come! Hope you enjoy it all!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to have left you hanging for so long! I will really try to post more, especially since I'm starting winter break next week, but no promises since my injury-prone self is having shoulder surgery on in a week and a half so I don't know how well I will be able to type. Yipee! Enjoy, and don't hate me too much even though I know you will. I guess I'm just really good at cliff hangers...

As the sirens filled the silence, Ali slowly woke up.

“What happened?” She said softly.

Ashlyn was choking back tears as she attempted to get a few words out. She couldn’t believe that this happened again. She had been scared enough the first time without having any idea of what was going on, but now that she had the cancer, it made it ten times harder because she couldn’t help but think the worst.

“You, uh, you fainted again.” Ashlyn said, tears welling up in her eyes.

Ali’s eyes widened. “Really?” and all of her teammates nodded.

Ashlyn sat their motionless. She had so many emotions running through her that she was afraid she would break. Anger that Ali had lied to her, fear that Ali wasn’t going to be okay, sadness that this was happening all over again, guilt that she wasn’t there when it happened, guilt that she was angry at Ali in the first place. She gripped onto Ali’s hand making sure that she felt her presence.

The sirens around them grew louder until the paramedics were finally rushing to Ali’s side. They tried to push Ashlyn away, but she wouldn’t budge. She continued to hold her hand all the way to the hospital.

///

“Hey Ali.” Dr. Carter said as she walked in the door. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired and weak.”

“So, what happened?”

“I don’t really know. I just got lightheaded and I guess I fainted. I don’t remember it that well.”

Before Dr. Carter could speak, Ashlyn jumped in. “The people she was sitting next to said she just suddenly fainted. Nobody saw it happen besides the two people she was talking to. When she woke up she didn’t even know what had happened. I was the one who had to tell her.”

“Okay thank you Ashlyn. We have you hooked up on an IV right now because you could have just been dehydrated, but we want to run a few tests just to make sure. We’re going to have to take your blood and we will bring you up for an MRI after that. Ashlyn, you can just wait in here until she is done.”

“Yeah. I know the drill.”

It pained Ashlyn to think of the first time this had happened. The time this whole process started. She didn’t want this to become a routine thing. She didn’t know if she could handle it, let alone Ali.

As Ashlyn waited for her to come back, she ran all the ideas of what the issue could be through her head. The idea that kept coming back to her was that the cancer had grown back. Every time this idea came to her, a wave of hurt and sadness overcame her body. This was her worst fear because she knew that the cancer would be harder to treat now. She would not allow herself to give into the thought because she would not allow herself to think of Ali dying. Ali was strong, she was aa fighter, no matter what was thrown in her way, she could handle it.

///

“How’d it go?” Ashlyn asked as Ali was brought back into the room.

“Fine. It was almost kind of nice because I got to rest.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Still really tired, but I’m okay.”

“Well, I’ll let you sleep for now. It’s going to take them a little to get the results.” Ashlyn said as she helped Ali back into bed.

Ashlyn started to walk over to the chair in the corner of the room, but Ali grabbed onto her arm and stopped her in her path. She patted the spot next to her on the bed and scooted over making space for Ashlyn to get in next to her. Ashlyn was reluctant because she wanted to let her rest, but gave in and cuddled up next to her. Ali needed the feeling of Ashlyn’s warmth up next to her desperately. She felt horrible, but she wasn’t going to let Ashlyn know that. She already felt terrible about lying to her in the first place especially because she caused such of an issue at practice. Her feelings of guilt went with her as she drifted off to sleep.

///

Ali woke up later that day only slightly better than she had the night before. She looked over in the spot next to her only to find that Ashlyn had already left. She knew that she wasn’t going to be able to sleep any longer since she was too anxious for the doctor to tell her the results of the MRI. Instead, she decided it was time to talk to Kyle.

As the phone rang, she patiently waited for the one of the only people she really wanted to talk with to pick up. Suddenly, a voice was heard from the other line.

“Hey Alex! How are you?”

The tired brunette replied quietly, “I’m okay. How are you?”

“Alex, are you sure? You don’t sound very good.”

“Um… actually I’m uh… in the hospital –”

“Wait what? Alex, where are you? I’m coming right away! What happened? Oh my god! Alex, please talk to me!”

Tears started to stream down her face. She hated listening to Kyle. She hated that she had to put everyone through this. She hated all of this.

“Alex, come on. Please. I need something.”

“Sorry, um, I’m at Holy Cross Germantown Hospital,” she said with a sniffle, “I was at practice with Ashlyn after my treatment and I uh, I passed out.”

“Alex, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I just hate all of this. I hate that Ashlyn has to take care of me at all times. I hate that I make everyone worry at all times. I hate that I’m getting in the way –”

“Alexandra Blaire Krieger. Stop right there. I want to care for you and I’m sure Ashlyn does to. You are not getting in the way of anything. I don’t care what you think. You can’t help any of this. We all love you and want to do anything to help you, not matter what it takes. Now stop beating yourself up about this and tell me what the doctor’s said.”

Ali laughed a little. “I got a few test done and had an MRI, but I haven’t gotten the results back. I should be getting them within a few minutes.”

“Well are you feeling better now?”

“Only a little. I took a nap and was able to rest during the MRI, but I still feel really off.”

“Oh honey, I wish I could switch places with you so badly.”

“Kyle. Stop. You know we don’t have that option.”

“I know, I know. Just call me back when you get the results. I will be there in about 4 or 5 hours. Love you Alex.”

“I love you too Kyle. See you soon.”

Ashlyn walked in the door with Dr. Carter following right behind her.

“I got you some tea. Thought it might relax you a little bit.”

“Thank you, Ash. So what’s the news Dr. Carter.”

“MRI showed no change from the last one. Just the small piece of the tumor that your surgeon was unable to take out. Blood is fine. Only thing we noticed was low sodium and potassium so your just dehydrated.”

A weight was quickly released off of Ali’s shoulders and she felt a quick wave of relief.

“Were just going to keep you overnight for observation to make sure everything is okay. We might hold off on tomorrow’s radiation treatment depending on how you feel in the morning, but if we could avoid that, it would be best. We will bring another IV in once this one finishes because we want to be giving you as much fluid as possible. Now you should get some rest.”

“Thank you so much Dr. Carter.” Ashlyn said quickly before Dr. Carter left the room.

Ashlyn let out a deep breath before a large rush of tears started to fall down her face. She had been so worried about Ali that she didn’t know how to react when she found out that she was okay. This had all just been too much of a reminder of the last time.

“Ashlyn, come here. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I, I’m just so relieved. I thought that the cancer was back and I don’t know what I would have done if that had been the case.” Ashlyn said through her tear stained face.

Ali didn’t speak. She was having the same feelings of guilt that she had just minutes before when she was talking to Kyle. She tried to hold the tears in, but her emotions overwhelmed her and she let them come once again. Ashlyn walked over to comfort her, sitting down in bed next to her. The two of them sat there together for a long time allowing themselves to calm down before they both drifted off to sleep.

///

“Hey Ash, have you heard anything from Kyle lately?”

“No. I haven’t talked to him in a few days. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you know Kyle being Kyle, as soon as I called to tell him that I was in the hospital, he immediately felt the need to rush over here. He said he was going to be here in about 5 hours when I called him which would have been late last night. I’m just worried that he isn’t here yet.”

“I’m sure he just went to a hotel for a night knowing that it was late and you wouldn’t be awake anyway. He’s probably needed some sleep after the long drive over here anyway.”

“Yeah, I guess. So are you going to hand me the coffee, or are those both for you?” Ali asked laughing.

“They’re both for me. Don’t you think I’m in desperate need of this much coffee compared to the girl who is sitting in the hospital bed.”

Ali just smiled as Ashlyn walked over handing her the cup of coffee and giving her a peck on the cheek.

“So, how are you feeling?”

“I’m better. Feeling at least a little rested. I would think 10 hours of sleep would do a little more, but at least it’s something.”

“Maybe some food will help. You haven’t eaten anything since noon yesterday. Do you want to go to the cafeteria?”

“Yes please! I am starving!”

///

Ali and Ashlyn sat a table in the lunch room laughing and talking for a really long time. They seemed to block out every sight and sound around them. That is what Ali truly needed. Every conversation with someone in the last few days had been about her and her sickness, even with Ashlyn. What she desperately wanted though, was to be treated like she wasn’t sick. Like she was just the Ali that everyone knew. The Ali that she used to be, and hoped that she still was.

The conversation abruptly came to an end when Ali’s phone started to buzz on the table in front of her. It was a call from her mom that she knew she needed to answer. Ashlyn got up from the table, taking their treys and allowing her to have her privacy.

“Hey sweetie. How are you?”

“I’m okay. Still worn out, but doing better after my night’s rest. Just wish I could get out of here.”

“That’s good honey, but I uh, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Ali said quickly.

“There’s been an accident. Kyle was injured pretty badly.”

As soon as those words came out of her mother’s mouth, the whole world went blank. Ali couldn’t speak, she couldn’t think. The only thing she could do was cry. Ashlyn rushed to her side, taking the phone that Ali had nearly dropped, hugging her tightly.

Ali could only think of her guilt. What if I had told him not to come? What if I hadn’t gone to practice? What if I hadn’t moved to D.C.? What if I wasn’t sick? What if this was all my fault?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it's been over 7 months since I posted the last chapter and I apologize for that. I kept thinking about writing again, but never actually did. It was my goal this summer to start writing again and I did! So here you go! Here's chapter 13!

Ali sat there motionless. She still couldn’t comprehend what she had just been told. The only thing that made sense to her was that she was dreaming because she wouldn’t believe that it was true. In her head she had to tell herself that Kyle was just fine because otherwise she was going to have a breakdown.

“Let’s go back to the room. I need you to talk to me, but it can wait until we get back to the room.”

As Ali sat down on her bed she seemed to be staring off into the distance, deep in thought.

“Do you want to tell me what your mom said now?”

She didn’t respond for a second, but once she realized that Ashlyn had been talking to her she quickly became alert.

“Wait what?”

“What did your mom tell you?”

“She, she told me that Kyle was…” Ali stopped and burst into tears once again.

“It’s okay, take your time.”

Ali spoke quietly through her tears. “Kyle was in an accident and he was badly injured.”

Ashlyn froze. It just seemed to be one thing after another. Like a domino effect of horrible events. Ashlyn knew she was going to have to keep herself calm and stay strong because if she didn’t there was no way that Ali would be able to hold herself together. This was a shock to both of them. They had gotten almost no information besides the fact that he was in Philadelphia and that he was in an accident. They had no idea what condition he was in, how the crash even happened, anything.

Ali hesitated. “We need to go to Philadelphia. We need to go see Kyle.”

Ashlyn’s smile fell. She knew that Ali wasn’t going to like what she was about to say. “Alex, I know you and Kyle are really close, but you just started your radiation treatments yesterday and you have another one in twenty minutes. You can’t just up and leave especially when we just got here a few days ago. I’m sure he’s –”

“Ashlyn. He’s my brother! I need to go see him. He still doesn’t know that I was just dehydrated and I need to talk to him. What if he’s not fine? I don’t know…” Ali fell into a fit of tears.

Ashlyn hugged her tightly, but didn’t say a word. Anything she tried to say to her would just make her all the angrier. She was already overflowing with emotion and wouldn’t be able to handle anything more.

After Ali had calmed down a little, she perked her head up a little, staring into the blonde’s eyes.

“Ash, what, what if he’s not okay? If he doesn’t make it, I, I don’t know what I would do. He’s my everything. He and I are just so close, there would be such a hole without him there.”

“Shhhh. We’re not going to think about that now. Just breath and let yourself calm down. I know this is a lot. You can call your mom later and try to talk to him, but let’s take a little while to think things over. I’m sure the doctors are taking very good care of him. Why don’t you get ready for your treatment?”

Ali didn’t fight it. She knew Ashlyn was right. She knew that she wasn’t physically healthy enough to be able to travel to Philadelphia, no matter what form of transportation. She needed to continue her treatments if she wanted to get healthy. As reluctant as she was, she gave in.

///

“Okay, Ali. Though you’re still really fatigued, we’ve decided that we will let you continue with your radiation. A nurse will come down here to bring you. After your treatment, we want to give you some more fluids, then you can head home. Any questions?”

“No, I think we’re good. Thank you Dr. Carter.”

As soon as Dr. Carter left the room, Ali groaned. She knew that the radiation was just going to make her more fatigued and she was sick of needles. She couldn’t help but question when this was going to end.

“What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asked. 

“I just want to go home. Go back to our life. Our normal life.”

“This is our normal now.”

“You know what I mean.” Ali said playfully hitting the blonde.

Ashlyn didn’t laugh. “Of course I do. But you have to be okay with all of this. Like I said, this is our new normal. I know it’s not the normal either of us would have expected at this time in our life, but you are fighting this. We are both fighting it together. Now, let’s get you changed before the nurse comes.”

///

“Home sweet home!” Ali exclaimed.

Though she had only been gone for a day, she had never been happier to see her own front door.

“Those doctors must have put something into the last IV because you actually have some energy right now and I don’t think I’ve seen that in weeks.” Ashlyn had a smile going from ear to ear across her face. This was the Ali she had missed seeing for so long.

“No kidding. I wish I could feel this could at all times.”

“Since you are feeling good, is there anything that you want to do?”

“Honestly I just want to spend some time with you. I want to not think about me and my health for even just 20 minutes. That is my wish.”

“Your wish will be my command. You can go up and take a nice relaxing bath, while I cook us some dinner. How does that sound?”

“What sounds even better is if we could cuddle up to a movie after dinner?” Ali said, kissing Ash on the cheek. “I’ll actually be able to stay up late enough to finish the whole movie this time.

“That sounds delightful. Now go relax.” Ashlyn laughed.

///

The only thing that Ali could think about was Kyle. Her treatments had finally started and all she wanted to do was to leave, to stop her treatment just so she could see her brother. He had been there for her through the surgery and this whole process, but now that he was the one struggling, she couldn’t be there for him. She had already been so guilty about putting Kyle through all of her sickness, but now the guilt had built up even more since she wasn’t there for him, again because of her sickness. Now that she finally had energy, she was taking advantage of it on something other than Kyle.

///

Ashlyn was glad that her and Ali were finally going to get to truly spend time together with both of them being completely aware. Ali had been so fatigued for so long that she couldn’t remember the last time that they had been able to do that. It may not be the perfect situation as they were both worried about Kyle, but it’s better than nothing.

Ali walked downstairs happy and excited to spend some genuine time with her fiancé. She tried to force her worries about Kyle out, even through her guilt. She knew that if anything serious happened, she would get a call right away. The brunette walked up behind Ashlyn and wrapped her arms around her waist.

“How was your bath?” Ashlyn asked

“Relaxing. It felt really good.”

“I’m glad. Are you ready for dinner?”

“Yes ma’am.” Ali said and gave Ashlyn a nice peck on the lips.

///

“Okay. While I have this energy, we need to take advantage. I want no talk about my tumor at all tonight. In this moment I am my healthy self.”

Ashlyn just smiled. Seeing Ali like this was so nice. It truly seemed as though she was healthy and cancer free.

“What tumor?” Ashlyn said seriously.

After a few seconds, they both burst out laughing. They kept smiling at each other and giggling all throughout dinner. It had been so long since they were able to have a night where they could truly do whatever they wanted.

///

The two of them sat down on the couch in their living room and snuggled up next to each other. They turned on Netflix and searched through the movies finally settling on Titanic. As the movie went on, Ali couldn’t help but become distracted with thoughts of Kyle. She tried to force them out because she wanted to enjoy her time with Ashlyn, but she so desperately wanted to be with Kyle and there was no stopping those thoughts.

Ashlyn could sense that Ali was distracted too and she knew exactly what she was thinking about so she paused the movie

“Alex, it’s okay, you can call Debbie. I’m sure she wants to talk to you and”

“No, I want to spend this time with you.”

“We both know that you won’t enjoy yourself nor this time together if you don’t check up on Kyle.”

Ali had a look of guilt on her face knowing that she was ruining their night.

“Why do you have to know me so well?” Ali said with a slight laugh.

“Because I’m your fiancé now call you mother. I want to know how Kyle is doing too!”

They both laughed a little as Ali pulled out her phone and called her mom. She put it on speaker so that Ashlyn could hear too. The more the phone rang, the more anxious the both of them became. Kyle had been in the back of their minds their entire night and they both wanted to make sure that he was doing okay so badly. Finally, Ali’s mom picked up the phone.

“How’s he doing?” Ali blurted out quickly. “Are you with him? How bad is it?”

Ali’s mom cut her off there. “Woah woah woah. I’ll tell you everything. You just need to let me speak.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Also, Ashlyn is with me so she can hear you too.”

“Okay. I’ll start from the beginning. He was on his way to DC to see you and a drunk driver swerved into oncoming traffic and crashed into Kyle.” Ashlyn and Ali were listening intently, taking in every last word. “Thankfully he was wearing his seatbelt, but his car took a huge impact and Kyle is in critical condition.” At the sound of that Ali and Ashlyn both took a sharp intake and tears welled up in their eyes. “He was taken to the hospital and they found bleeding in his brain. He has lots of cuts and bruises and a few broken bones. He also has a collapsed lung and some internal bleeding.” They could hear the emotion coming from Debbie’s voice which scared Ali even more.

She hated this. She hated that she couldn’t be there. She hated that she could only hear about this over the phone. This isn’t the way it was supposed to be. Ali was supposed to be the one laying in the hospital bed, not Kyle. None of it was fair.

Her mother continued. “Kyle already had surgery to stop the bleeding in his brain and internally as well as to fix the broken bones in his arm. He still hasn’t woken up from the surgery yet and there is a lot of swelling in his brain, but he doctors said that he should make a full recovery, but it’s going to be an extremely long and tough process.”

Ali still couldn’t fathom the situation that they were in. It was all just so crazy. She was fighting a brain tumor and had just had brain surgery to remove it. Now Kyle was hit by a drunk driver and just had brain surgery to stop the bleeding. She didn’t understand why all of this was happening, especially at the same time.

“How long do you think it will be until he wakes up?” Ali asked, trying to hold back the tears.

“It might be a while. They’re planning on keeping him sedated so that the swelling in his brain can go down and give his body a rest after what he’s gone through. We’re not sure how long that could take. It might be a few hours it could be a few days; we just don’t know.”

“Do you know anything more?” Ali asked, anxious and desperate to know more.

“I’m really sorry honey, but there are a lot of unknowns right now. When he wakes up we will know more, but until then we just have to be patient.”

That was not the answer she was looking for at all. She needed answers. She needed to know that her brother would be okay.

Ashlyn knew that Ali was panicked right now so she decided to jump in.

“Thank you so much Debbie. We’ll let you get some rest. It’s been a long day for all of us, but we really appreciate you giving us all the information. Update us soon. Love you and wish we could be there with you all!”

“I love you both and I’ll let you know any new details I find out, but Alex,” Her head perked up from Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Please, take care of yourself. I’m begging you. I know you want to be here and I wish you could be too, but you need to continue with your treatments and get as much rest as possible so you can keep fighting.”

“I will. I promise. I love you Mom.”

With that, the defender hung up the phone and let all of her emotions go. There was no hiding how scared she was.

“Alex. It’s going to be okay. I know how hard this is for you, but no matter how this turns out I will be here for you. This is scary for all of us, but we will get through it. You are going to fight. Kyle is going to fight. And we are all going to help you both fight, no matter what it takes.”


End file.
